The girls of Hollingsworth

Selena rolled over just as the alarm went off. Damn, I just got to sleep! she sighed. She starred angrily at the alarm for a minute before punching it, to make it stop whining. She sat up and glanced at herself in the large antique mirror that hung over her dresser. She looked nothing like a pretty teenager in the morning. In fact, she looked like hell right now. Dragging her tired body from bed, Selena made her way down the hall toward the bathroom. Her mom grace was just coming out. She took one look at Selena and laughed out loud. "You look like an old woman in the morning, instead of a young girl!" She giggled again, then quickly stifled it as Selena glared at her. "Oh honey, come on- mornings aren't that bad! Besides, don't you pick the new cheerleaders today?" At the mention of cheer leading practice Selena suddenly snapped to life. She as Co-caption would get to help Melody the team captain, pick 4 new cheerleaders. She absolutely loved cheer leading, but she loved making those girls squirm and beg to get on the team even more. To Selena power was the world's greatest resource. She fairly flew into the bathroom to get ready. "Don't wait up for me mom, we'll probably go to the diner after the picks to get something to eat" she called behind her. Grace Thomas made a face. "Selena," she called through the door. "Your father is not going to like that! You know he likes us all to eat as a family!" On the other side of the door, Selena started the shower, and ignored her. Everyone in the family, including her brother David, her sister Megan, and her father Joe, all catered to her. Everyone treated her like she was the star. And as far as she was concerned, that was the way it should be. She took a super fast shower and then headed toward her room. Just then, Megan rounded the corner. "Sis, can I catch a ride with you to school?" She seemed to be holding her breath, as she stared up at her big sister. Megan was tall like Selena, and had their mother's carefree good looks (like Selena), but she was on the shy side and rather quiet. Selena shook her head at her. "Not today Megan, I've got to get there early- Isn't your friend Tamekia coming for you? "She grimaced even saying the name, she hated anything that reeked of Ghetto-and that name screamed Ghetto. "Um...it's Tameka, Selena. She's not going today, she has a dental appointment-so I guess I'll have to take the bus" She looked forlornly at her big sister, as she moved into the bathroom. Selena shrugged, and started on her way, but as she turned, she ran smack into her father, and he was not smiling. In fact he looked pissed. "Selena, if you think for one minute that I'm going to spend my hard earned money buying you girls a car that you commandeer for yourself, you have another thing coming! If Megan cannot ride with you, then she'll take the car and you'll get there however you can!" Selena stared at him in shock. "But daddy, I've got to get there early so I can-" He held up his big black hand and cut her off. "I don't give a damn Selena! " I'm tired of you wrapping this family around your finger and making fools of us all! Either you wait for her, or she takes the car! -And here's a thought. If you don't like it, get a job and buy one for yourself-or get that dumb-ass boy to buy you one! Selena felt tears sting her eyes. It was not fair! But by the set of her father's face, she knew he was not going to change his mind. He strode roughly away from her, and headed downstairs. It was obvious he was angry about alot more than the car, but she could not worry about it right now. Megan peeked out meekly at her. Of course she'd heard everything. "Hurry up and meet me downstairs or I'll leave you! " Selena snapped at her. But Megan met her eyes, and for once didn't seem intimidated. "I'll be ready by 8, and I suspect you'll be there waiting." She said evenly. She slammed the door, as Selena tried to punch her. What the hell was wrong with her family today? Everyone was suddenly treating her like she was common! She flounced angrily away and stormed off to finish getting ready for school. Suddenly, even the thought of harassing the junior girls at squad practice didn't get her as excited as it should have... At practice, Selena took her place next to Melody to watch the new girls work their butts off trying to get one of the coveted 4 spots. Her boyfriend Mike, and 4 of his friend hung in the back watching the girls get ready to compete. Dammit! Selena thought to herself. I told that fool not to bring his dumb friends to watch the girls. The faculty was complaining about the girls being exploited. Something stupid about the guys looking-and making remarks about their behinds or something. It's all so stupid-but never the less they didn't need the hassle. She sighed. The school seemed to be on a no sexual harassment tip, but Isn't that what guys did- look at girls butts? She moved over as Heather, and Angel took seats beside her . Angel flung her long blond hair and looked around. "Where's Cami? " she asked, breezily. Selena shrugged. Heather leaned back and looked at Selena. Her dark skin was smooth and tight. Selena looked at them, and stifled a laugh. They looked like double fudge and triple vanilla. They were both tall and very attractive but Heather was very dark with short curly hair, and Angel was very fair, and blond. They had been friends since they were little and were very close-almost like sisters. And to have one angry at you, was to deal with them both. The funniest part though was that Angel was 3 times more aggressive than Heather, and was far more hood. Heather in fact was on the quiet side, and the only time she'd seen Heather get aggressive, was when someone messed with Angel. They had lived in Hollingsworth all their lives, just like Selena. It was a pretty little town in West Cali, and considered quite creme de la creme. It had an Ethnic Majority of well off Black and Spanish people with a sprinkling of white/other. Most of the kids had known each other for years, and did not take kindly to outsiders. "What do you think of that one?" Selena pointed out a tall red headed girl with an amazing back flip. Melody shook her permed hair. "No, not the white girl! " she snapped. "We already have 2 or 3 of them!" Angel and Heather both turned to glare at her. "What the hell is this-tokenism?" Angel snapped at her. "If she's one of the best, she's going to make the team, and I dare anyone to tell me different!" Her mouth was set in a hard line as she glared at Melody. She was leaning forward as if daring Melody to say more. Selena leaned forward, and looked at Heather. Sure enough, Heather's body almost perfectly mirrored Angel's and her mouth was set in a hard line too, as she too, glared at Melody. Selena stifled a laugh. Those two cracked her up! Melody shrugged. She wasn't in the mood to take on Angel or her attack dog, as she secretly called Heather. So she turned and continued to watch the cheering girls vie for her attention. Selena studied Melody. Melody hated alot of stuff -especially Angel. She really didn't seem too crazy about non-black people at all except Cami. (who was Hispanic.) But everyone loved Cami. Melody seemed to tolerate people rather than actually like them. Selena wasn't even sure she liked her, although she said she did. She also didn't seem to like black people who had no money or who did not drive nice cars and who could not speak perfect English and on and on... Melody had a whole list of reasons to hate people and a very small list to like them. Selena had to laugh to herself. And to think people thought she was a bitch! They had not met Melody! Just then, Camilla came through the gym doors and motioned the sitting girls to get up. They happily complied. She made her way up the bleachers, and joined the group to watch the performances. "You're late. " Selena told her. "Yeah, sorry- I had to get help with my math or I'm gonna fail" Camilla turned back to the show. "Who's the white boy?" she asked suddenly, pointing across the gym. Selena followed her finger. Laughing with Mike and the guys was a white boy she had never seen before. He stood about 6.2, had dark hair, and athletic build and what looked like a dark patch creeping beneath the sleeve of his gym shirt. But as he drew closer, she saw it was part of a hidden tattoo on one of his muscled biceps. Cami drew in a sharp breath. "I lika trade my man fo hem!" she exclaimed. they laughed. Cami's accent always peeked through when she got excited. But Selena could not help staring herself. He was fine! Even Melody was looking, and this caused Heather and Angel to look at each other and burst out laughing. To see Melody looking at a white boy was too funny! Coach Manning glared at them, and blew her whistle-hard. "Girls, I realize the young men are a major attraction, but do you think you could help me choose the new cheerleaders before game time!" They turned back sheepishly and tried to concentrate on the new picks. The two girls who really stood out were the red headed white girl, Selena had pointed out earlier, and her friend. A pretty brown haired black girl with a big chest. She seemed rather shy, but on the floor she was dynamite and she knew it. She and the red headed girl dominated the competition and then then moved off together, to let the next pair try out. They moved confidently off toward the bottom of the bleachers. Selena stared at them. She knew the black one from 'somewhere'-but she couldn't remember where. They seemed quite aware that everyone was whispering excitedly about them, as they took their seats. Coach manning happily put their names on the definite side of her roster. "Wait a minute!" Melody exclaimed, as she realized what she was doing. " We didn't vote them in!" Coach Manning turned to her. "Why would they not be in Melody? They're the best I've seen in ages, and they can do all the flips effortlessly!" Melody pursed her lips and looked at the rest of them for back up. "I don't like them! " she announced, angrily. "They look ridiculous! The white girl is too... well.. too white! And the black one well lets face it, her titties are too big-she's going to make the uniform look ridiculous!" Angel faced her angrily. "I am soooo sick of your racism Melody! What the hell does that mean she's too white? You're too bitchy but you made the team!" Heather nodded in agreement behind her. "And what's wrong with big boobs? " Camilla asked, looking down at her own well-endowed chest. My uniform fits just fine!" Coach Manning held up her hand, and looked pointedly at Melody. "Get over yourself fast Mel,-or you'll find your own spot in jeopardy. I have already chosen those two. You girls can argue amongst yourselves about the other two. But Samantha and Madison are on the team-now have a good night, because I'm leaving." "You can't leave! " Selena burst out. "I don't want those two either! I don't like that Madison-she thinks she so cute!" She'd just remembered where she'd seen Madison. It was at the summer club and Madison, had been with a really cute white boy. And when Selena had glanced at him, she had grabbed him close like she was going to steal him! She had not known her name then, only that she did not like her. "Tough!" coach Manning yelled behind her as she made her way toward the door. "I said they're on the team- now deal with it!" With that, she was gone, leaving the girls to fight it out amongst themselves. Selena glanced down at Madison and Samantha. They both had smug looks on their faces. Although they were too far away to hear the words, they seemed to know instinctively the argument was about them, and that they had won.... 2 hours later, at They arrived at Teen Steam, the local hang out. Cami couldn't be there. She had to get home, but the rest of the group made it, although both Selena and Melody were not in the best mood. Selena slid angrily into the booth beside Mike. "She said we could pick them and then she picks them" Selena burst out. Melody waved it away. "Let it go Sel, nothing we can do about it." She accepted a hug from her boyfriend Keith then glared off in space. "Well, I think they'll be a good addition" Heather shrugged. "Me too, and the other two are good too, so we should have a good team this year" Angel agreed. "You would feel that way," Melody looked her up and down. "Everybody knows white people stick together!" she moved behind her boyfriend in case Angel got violent. "They do not!" Angel shot back at her. "Cool people stick with cool people, so I don't know why we bother with you!" "Yeah!" Heather echoed, nodding in agreement as usual. "And we're sick of you Melody, I'll just say what everyone is thinking: You're a bitch!" Melody gasped and choked on her coke. "You.. you can't talk to me like that Heather!" She turned to her boyfriend. "Tell her about herself Keith!" Keith looked like a salmon caught in a trap. "Oh look, here comes Banks!" He said quickly. The same handsome white boy from the gym was walking toward them. He was handsome across the room, but breathtaking up close with a shock of dark hair and sea green eyes. Selena drew in her breath so sharply, Mike cast her a weird glance. Even Melody forgot how angry she was and stared in fastination. The boys stood up and slapped hands with him. Mike turned to Selena. John man, this is my girl Selena. Selena meet John Michael Banks" Yes, his father is the one who owns Banks and Banks, the investment firm. A few years from now, my man'll be taking the lead!" He slapped John on the back, smiling. Selena was so impressed she had to force herself to act normal. The one thing she loved and respected was money! And this guy smelled of it! She smiled warmly as he shook her hand. He was polite, but seemed distracted -and not by her. Selena fought the irritation creeping into her face as his eyes scanned the room for someone. "Nice to meet you, didn't y'all put my girl through today?" "Who's your girl? Angel asked. Glancing at Selena with an amused look on her face. She had seen the clear attraction on Selena's face, the moment Mike mentioned who John was. Selena's just like Melody. She thought to herself. A gold digging tramp who'd cut her mother's throat to get what she wants! "Madison Williams. John answered proudly. Keith looked confused. "Madison, the cute black girl that's built like a brick house? .... " He held his hands in front of his shirt to signify large breasts. John chuckled. "Yeah, that's her. She was scared to death she wouldn't make it because girls sometimes get so jealous of her" Melody snorted rudely, then cough-laughed to cover it up. jealous of what? she wondered. Those ridiculously large cow utters! She glanced at Selena who was hiding behind her napkin, to cover her malicious laughter. He paused and looked at them closely. "I promised her y'all wouldn't treat her like that, and she'd get a fair shot. Thanks for giving it to her, it means a lot to us" He seemed confused by their amusement, but he didn't say anything more. He simply turned and strode away. Selena took a bite of her french fry and tried to swallow the feelings of anger churning in her stomach. She watched John head from the counter with two plates and toward a table in the back corner. Madison waited for him at the table. Her brown hair was freshly washed and brushed into a pony tail, and her make up free face was brown and pretty. She smiled as John slid into the booth beside her. He kissed her cheek, and pulled her close. They looked so happy! Suddenly, Selena lost her appetite. Mike gave her a quizzical look. "Honey what's wrong?" "I'm not hungry-that's what's wrong! " she snapped at him, looking over his wide shoulder to where Madison sat happily eating, while John nuzzled her neck and whispered softly in her ear. Melody looked over at them, then back at Selena. She didn't seem upset at all, in fact she seemed... well, calculating, like she had a plan. She smiled crytically at Selena, and sipped her coke. Selena knew what Melody was thinking. Mel hated anything too perfect, or anyone too happy. She knew without asking, Mel would help her break them up. Melody looked at her, as if reading her mind, and nodded. Mel loved to cause trouble. She would do it just for fun, but Selena had something much more important in mind-and his name was John. She watched as he laughed softly at something the cow-titted girl was saying. His green eyes met Selena's for a second, and her heart began to flutter. Suddenly she could not wait to get Corny Madison out of the way. She'd never had white chocolate before, but suddenly she could not wait to try it! ....... Will Selena and Melody be able to get rid of Madison and throw her off the team? Will Selena be able to take what she REALLY wants? Find out in our next chapter of The girls of Hollingsworth.....

Starter tips for meeting Mr. Right....

Finding him.... Alot of women say they want to find someone, but do they really? Sometimes women think they want a man, but they really just want the man in their imagination and not a real, living breathing flawed human man. Ladies, just like you, he will not be perfect. He may be too short or too small in stature or too plain or too whatever. But please look around you and really see the husbands and notice not too many of them look like Brad Pitt. Most guys who are husband material will not be that fine, but then if you had a Brad Pitt, think about it. There maybe several Angelina Joli's waiting to steal him, and who can compete with her! lol. I am not saying super handsome men cannot be good, and faithful and all that. I am just saying, if you want a man, try to focus on his inner qualities instead of the external-because those are the ones that really matter. Now having said that, lets move on to attraction. You must learn to use your green light. Alot of sistas are VERY familiar with the red light when it comes to non-blk men, but almost seem to forget how to use the green light. They don't remember how to flirt in a light and carefree way or how to let a man know they are interested without sending out desperate signals and the like. The simple truth is that: Men are afraid of rejection just like you. Know that he is 3x more likely to approach a smiling plain woman then he is to approach a mean faced Beyonce. Here are some of the things you can do get his attention, in the beginning. 1 Be as attractive as you can be. Few of us can be Beyonce or Angelina, but with cleanliness, make up and in reasonable shape-most of us can easily be pretty. 2. Really look at him, like you are trying to see inside his eye. Then ever so slowly smile and look gently away. When you turn back, if he is looking or turning red-that's a definite green light for YOU! In other words, he's interested.... 3. Ask questions to get the ball rolling. Small talk is an important part of a new relationship. Ask him about himself and really want to know. 4. Laugh at his jokes. Men love to play the clown especially if they have a captive audience. If his jokes are stupid, laugh at the stupidity of them 5. Emphasize the similarities: Don't talk visual to a feelings man and vice versa. that's right I owe you guys the hearing and feeling man don't I.? Sorry, I forgot, but I will make time next week to do them both-then you'll know what I'm talking about.... 6. Be friendly, open and sweet but never desperate or sleazy. Just be your own happy self. Many men are attracted to bubbly women because they consider them exciting and warm. Many women act cool and quiet, and then wonder why men pay them no mind. Ask yourself -do you pay much attention to the quiet as mouse people? These are some starter tips to get the ball rolling. We will go into much greater detail soon, but I would like to get the hearing and feeling men out of the way so you all will know what I am talking about when I mention them. So We'll do those posts soon and get back to attraction..... Thank y'all for tuning in-See you soon....

Part 2- Can this relationshop be saved....

You guys did so well, you don't even need me anymore! That was really good. Our lady was definitely a casual auditory and he was a virulent visual. They did not mesh because she was far to casual , and unkempt for him. Visuals are often viewed as being stuck up because they seem so supercilious. The truth is that they simply have a picture in their mind, and they feel almost compelled to conform to it. What makes it hard for them to get along with audios long term, is that auditory people seem to be very laid back and go with the flow type people. And although visuals (like me) may wish all day we could be that way, and sometimes feel upset with ourselves that we are not. The truth is we are not! I learned a long time ago. You cannot change the basic tenets of your personality, so your best bet is to work with it. Things would have very little chance of working with this couple because they were just too different. (esp. if neither one is interested in massively changing) Their best bet would be to find people more like themselves. The saying that opposites attract is misleading. Yes, opposites do attract initially, then they start to repel. People who see the world completely differently either need to be able to see through the other's eyes as well as their own, or they will most likely not last. I will give one more example. My very young daughter is a very casual auditory. she even listens to music while doing her homework! She is a great dancer, on the drill team and loves to talk for hours (whether we want to hear it or not) I on the other hand am an uptight visual. I like a clean house, cannot relax in a dirty one. Love lots of peace and quiet, movies, and reading. It drives her crazy that I'm extremely organized, and overyly rigid. As well as the fact that I am constantly 'on' her about her room'. It drives me crazy that she loves to talk for hours (either on the phone or in person) and I want peace and quiet. After years of dissension about it, she finally learned to talk to me in a pithy manner, ie, coming to the point and making it short. We've learned to close her room door so everyone does not have to see it. I still demand she clean it every week. But in between I know it' s going to be a mess, so I don't go looking through it, and getting upset. When she wants something, now she will talk about how her job is done, or her room is clean, or show us some good grades. See she has learned to think outside of her own spectrum, in order to get what she wants in life! And ladies you must learn to do the same! If your man is auditory by all means do auditory things (sing, dance, talk, listen etc. Tell him how much you love his voice, speak in the same slow melodic voice he uses. Play up the similarities between you. But if he's visual-never be lax about your appearance or how the house looks. And NEVER EVER drown him in feelings! Visuals hate to be drowned in feelings (esp. by ppl they don't know well). If he's a kinestetic -touch him! Tell him how much he means to you and how glad you are that he's there. Tell him something about this relationship feels totally right. Learn to wrap your man around your finger just like babies do. They instinctively know how to get you to think they are the most precious adorable creatures God ever created..... Just keep in mind that you want to play up how much you two are alike! -and make him feel like you are the only one who understands him! If he is visual, you should have him thinking to himself: "I can SEE myself making her my wife! Or if he's auditory he should be thinking: " Something TELLS me she's the one!" Or if he's kinestetic he should be thinking: " I've never FELT this way about a woman before!"

CAN THIS BRAND NEW RELATIONSHIP BE SAVED?.... And how????

Read the following short story and see if you can figure out the problem here. Should these people try to forge a relationship? and why or why not. Is the latter part the neighbor's fault or not-answer the questions at the end.... Lisa swayed to the music as she prepared the delicious meal for her intended. She was so excited. This was their 3rd date, and the first time she had let him come to her house. Mark was so sexy! The sound of his voice always turned her on, and made her hot. She'd kept everything calm though and had not let him talk her into anything too fast, But tonight would be different. She was plannig to find out just how good he was in the sack tonight. She had not done anything too fast, just as her friends had advised. But man had it been difficult. Mark was hot! He moved like he heard music no one else could, and he always looked perfect. Never a hair out of place. Lisa, on the other hand, was a comfortable dresser and rarely dressed up like he often did. But she certainly appreciated how good he always looked, and sounded. At 8.pm on the dot, her bell rang. Lisa ran to open the door, wiping roast beef on her apron, and rushing to open the door. Mark stood there looking like he stepped from the pages of a magazine. He wore an expensive overcoat, and smelled as if he had just stepped from the shower. Lisa thought about the shower she'd had (about 6 hours ago) too late. She was covered in flour, and other cooking concoctions, but she laughed it off. "You caught me off guard." She giggled. But Mark was not laughing. "We agreed on 8.00 didn't we?" He took in her disheveled appearance and seemed disappointed. Lisa tried to give him a hug, but he stepped back. The look on his face stopped her in her tracks. "Ah, I just got this coat from the cleaners" He murmured. "Maybe you could find something clean to put on. " Lisa nodded, trying not to feel upset. She ran in the room and changed while he flipped through the channels on her tv. When she came out, she was wearing her favorite pair of jeans and a cute pink top. This time he gave her a hug but it seemed stiff and forced to her. They sat down to dinner and Lisa turned up the music, so she sing to one of her favorite songs. As soon as it was over, Mark reached over and turned the music off. Lisa felt irritation creeping over her. Where the hell did he get off turning off her music? Mark smiled at her. "I thought we could talk " He said semi-warmly. That food looks great! Lisa set the table and motioned him over. "Yeah, I hear good food is the way to a man's heart " She laughed. So tell me about your job, what do you like about it. I hear y'all make good money over there. Sounds like my kind of place. She plopped down and started to eat. Mark seemed rather uncomfortable for some reason but he sat down carefully and quietly began to eat as well. "Well, I rather enjoy it, so it's something to look forward to, that's for sure. "I'm in charge of operations, so I have to make sure by visual inspection that everything is up to par and- Just then a loud car went by playing a Janet Jackson song. Lisa began to prance in her seat, throwing her hands up, and gyrating in the chair. She completely tuned Mark and his boring job out as she seat-danced. She looked at Mark expecting him to be dancing too, but he had looked down at his plate, and pursed his lips. When the car was gone and it was quiet. Lisa looked at him closely. "What's your problem?" She asked quietly. "I heard you were a stick in the mud, but I thought it was just a rumor." Mark's head snapped up. "You're calling me a stick in the mud. That's rich! because you act like some mindless video- They were both interrupted by the sound of the door. Lisa threw a quick glare at Mark. "I'll get it, you just sit here and be too good for words!" She went to the door and flung it open, her face smoldering with unresolved anger. The new neighbor Samantha stood there holding an empty bowl. She took a step back at the look on Lisa's face. "Ah..... hi Lisa, is this a bad time-I can come back" She smoothed her hair, and half smiled. She was dressed in a brown chiffon with matching heels, and her hair and make up were both perfect. Lisa was in no mood to play good neighbor. "What do you want Sam?" She said without civility. Sam's eyes widened at her rude tone. "Ah.. n..nothing, I'll talk to you later." She seemed embarrassed and upset. She turned to go. "You must have come for something, you have a bowl in your hand." They both turned to the sound of Mark coming up to them. Sam's eyes widened at the sight of him, and her smiled came to life. "Well,.... I don't want to interrupt, but I needed some sugar. I ran out and I'm making these cookies-" She trailed off, still staring at Mark. Lisa turned to find Mark starring just as hard back at her. Her blood began to boil. She turned to Sam and glared a warning glare. "Well, we're in the middle of dinner, but I'm sure the corner store has sugar! " She answered brusquely. Both of them turned to look at her like she was crazy. "Tell you what" Mark answered, ignoring Lisa, "I was finished eating anyway He lied. Why don't I go and get you that sugar" Sam was backing away from the anger on Lisa's face. "Oh... ah.. that's ok but thank you" She turned and hurried away ignoring Mark's calls behind her. Lisa slammed the door. "So you wanna chase that little slut-go ahead! "She screamed. Mark starred at her. "Why are you calling her a slut?" He asked quietly. "You're the one who looks like a slut to me. You let me come to your house after dating for less than a month!" I know exactly what you planned to happen tonight, and so do you! " Lisa's face blanched. "That's not true!" She shrieked. "Nothing was going to happen, except dinner!" Mark was grabbing his overcoat. "Yeah right! - The first time I looked at you in that too tight outfit, I knew what you were up to, and what kind of woman you were! " He ran out the door before Lisa could throw a plate at him and ran across the lawn. Lisa watched him search around until he found Samantha talking to another neighbor. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she watched him smile at Sam in a way, he had never smiled at her. What happened she asked herself. How did that little tramp simply smile and steal my man? See if you can answer the following questions. What went wrong here? Why weren't they connecting? Why was he so uncomfortable? Why did he seem much more attracted to Sam? Should Lisa keep pursuing him or cut him loose? Answers soon......

How to have him eating out of your little hand........

Can you make him feel like he's this hot?????????? Why do some women have men eating out of their little hand when other women cannot seem to get close to a good man at all? There are many secrets, but we're going to explore just a few here now- more coming soon..... Lets get started, I think you all know how important it is to be in shape by now, and to be clean and to approachable, so we won't rehash that. What I want to tell you is a little secret that all women who are really successful with men know. YOU MUST LEARN TO MAKE HIM FEEL ABOUT HIMSELF-THE WAY HE LONGS TO FEEL!!! What does this mean? it means: Everybody has a real self image and a feigned one. The feigned one is the one we really want. The real one is the one we think is most accurate. This applies to all people. You may have heard someone say: He thinks he so smart! or she thinks she's so cute! The truth is what we think is projected so hard that people can literally almost read our minds!! Of course women say this (she thinks she so cute!) about females all the time, usually from anger. However, when people constantly say it, you can bet the girl really does think she's so cute! There is a saying that goes: What you are is screaming so loud, I cannot hear what you're saying! It's really true. There was a famous artist who used to sit next to strangers after studying them a few minutes, and draw exaggerated cartoons of them. (for instance, he might draw a cartoon of an overly sexual woman which conveyed deep insecurity about her sexuality) The people he drew always invariably claimed, "that's nice, but it's really not me" People with them always exclaimed "oh yes it is!" The point is we all have sides that we are trying to hide, and sides that we want to show off. One of the easiest ways to pull a man into your lair is to bring out the side of him that he desperately wants to connect to, but does not dare for fear of what the world will say. This is the main reason many overachieving, controlling males will go to a dominatrix. They want to take off the hat of having to be the perfect leader and having to make all the decisions, and worrying constantly about never being let off that pedestal. I know what you are thinking. Doesn't every man want to be on a pedestal? The truth is yes and no. Yes, he will enjoy it for a (short) time. However, nobody wants to wear the superman cape everyday! It's just to emotionally draining! Men are no different. I will tell you a little secret. Ladies if you are kowtowing and pretending your man is perfect to get him down the isle, forget it!-you will NEVER get down that isle! The truth is he cannot marry you! He knows you are holding him up as perfect-and he knows he cannot maintain the facade! He is not perfect! He is human, and he wants someone who KNOWS he's flawed and loves him anyway! Yet he also wants someone who makes him feel like he can conquer the world. (Men are conquerors, you know) He wants to fight for you, and steal you away from all the men he suspects want you. (hint: if nobody wants you, NEVER let him know that-If nobody else wants you, honey- neither does he!) Then he wants to be your hero (your flawed, but lovable hero) The truth is the women who are the most successful with men almost cast a spell on them that can last a lifetime (no, its not a real spell) But she makes him think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and not in a fake fawning way that he can see right through. For instance, my cousin's husband constantly complained that she had no time for him and always acted like he did not exist. I sat in her kitchen and watched him come home one day. He made a beeline for her to hug her. (He's a feelings man) She immediately pulled back and made a face. She gave him a peck kiss that did not connect and turned back to me. I started to try to explain to her that she had just rebuffed him and he looked upset. She blew that away and resumed talking about the show we were watching. A moment later, her 4 year old came in and said "Mommy, see my picture of the dragon I beat up! (Remember even as babies, men are conquerors!) She immediately stopped what she was doing and knelt down to his level. She looked at the picture and exclaimed about how talented he was and how proud she was of him. Then she gave him a big hug and kiss and squeezed him tight. He ran off happily to brag to his brother about how much she liked his picture. I turned to her and said "Louise, maybe you could do the same for your husband? " See, he wants to be praised for the dragons he slays too. work, bills, children, taxes etc. are just a few of the things men have to deal with everyday, (dragons ) and a little appreciation goes a long way. She treated her husband like he was not WORTH getting excited over. Yet had gone on and on over her 4 year old. Men are just big boys at heart ladies and his ego ALWAYS needs to be stroked! I did not say flattery, I said ego stroking. There is a big difference, mainly that flattery is fake. I will give y'all one more example. Suppose you have a short man in your life. He is very sensitive about his height and you know he wishes he were taller. A flattering woman might say. You look so tall and handsome! Immediately he dismisses what she says because how can he believe she finds him handsome, when she just lied about him being tall? A much smarter woman will bring up his height because she knows if she doesn't it becomes the pink elephant in the room. She might say something like this, Jay, I suppose SOME women might like a taller man, but I find this height to be perfect for me! or sexy or whatever. Now he can breath because he knows his height is not turning her off-it's actually an asset with this particular woman! Take another case; Say this man has secretly always wanted to be thought of as sexy, but he's insecure about his bald head. Say his new GF tells him "Wow, you look great bald! *runs her hands over his head* "you remind me of Michael Jordan! Now his bald head is no longer something for him to be ashamed of. Instead now he begins to feel stronger, taller, more appealing. The point is ladies, you must talk to your man (Men always reveal themselves-if you listen close) He will tell you by what he says and more important what he does not say about how he wants to feel about himself and the image he desperately wants to fulfill, When you bring out the side of him, he is longing to meet, it will be very hard for him not to fall in love.....Another LL (love lesson) coming soon-thanks for tuning in.......

BASTARD ALERT!!! (Take the bastard test!!)

TAKE THE BASTARD TEST!!! (Parental Advisory!) Are you attracted to bastards? Take the test and find out. The following story is a reprint. The first step in finding Mr Right is to absolve yourself of the attraction to bastards..... I think alot of the time when women claim that they cannot find true love, it is because they are looking for that devilishly handsome, sexy bastard that every woman dreams of taming. Ladies, the truth is that for most bastards, it will be a long time coming, before they become good husbands, if ever. Most women need to be bastard deprogrammed at some point in their lives. Don't be ashamed if you do, -just get on the phone to bastard-rehab and make an appointment-FAST! What do I mean by bastard? Well lets discuss. Being sexy and/or handsome doe's not make him a bastard of course, but these are some clues that he just might be a bastard. he has alot of sex appeal but not too much emotional appeal he is OVERconfident, like he knows he's the sh*t He's quite sweet and charming in the beginning, yet as time goes on, you notice he is colder and colder for no conceivable reason. As soon as he has you hooked, he begins to lie and manipulate until you don't know up from down anymore. He has ex-wives or ex-girlfriends who want to kill him! The break up of his last relationship was ALL HER FAULT! Yes, he's been in jail for domestic violence but only because she nagged all the time, and drove him to it. Yes, he's married but he didn't tell you because he loves you so much and did not want to lose you. He's super -good in bed. 'honey he ought to be, with all that practice bedding everything from teenagers to grandmothers The fact is that bastards are very sexy, of course they are they're so bad-boyish and unpredictable! You never know if they will show up for dates, make a pass at your mother, fall in love with your best friend, when you are 8 months pregnant, or "leave your ass for a white girl" You can usually tell when a friend is dating a bastard. After all if the knot on her forehead doesn't let you know the astronomical psychiatric bills should. I am convinced the reason many women have a hard time finding lasting true love is simply because women are conditioned to be attracted to bastards. In all the romance novels, the heroine finds some bastard, tames him, makes him hers and lives happily ever after. In real life, she probably would not make it to her 30th birthday before the men in white coats had to haul her away. Why? because the bastard would have caused her to lose her sanity! Ladies, we MUST lose our attraction to bastards. Loving marriages and bastards do not go together! Oh! you swear that you are not attracted to bastards, read the following story; and if your pulse starts to race, your heart starts to pound, or you get so excited you have to take a cold shower, then,- hurry girl, call bastard-rehab quick, because honey you are on full BASTARD ALERT! TAKE THE BASTARD TEST! Read the following story and note how you feel. If you find yourself making excuses for our male protagonist, -you may have a problem resisting bastards. Check your results at the end. The following story is NOT for children! (Parental Advisory!) Alisha was determined to break up with Antonio this time-he was not going to sweet talk her anymore! She tore through the house snatching all of his favorite things and throwing them quickly into the black trash bag. " this is what he gets, she thought angrily. "A big black trash bag of expensive stuff, free to the neighbors!" Foot ball jersey, lead crystal, designer towels, and bedding, brand new in the package, anything she could fit, was going in. 'That Italian son-of-a-bitch!' She thought angrily, she grabbed handfuls of his designer suits, cuff links and a full jewelry case, and tossed it all into the bag, She knew the items were worth thousands. She had been with him when he purchased most of it. Then, struggling to lift it, she opened the large picture window and let the over sized bag slide from of her sweaty palms over the edge of the sill. It hit the ground with a resounding thud, and was instantly ripped open by greedy neighbors. This was the 3rd one she had tossed out, she noted with satisfaction that the neighborhood people were enthusiastically going through Antonio's expensive things like a free garage sale. They knew the routine. Everybody knew that when a female is throwing out her man's stuff -hurry and get it before he comes back. Word had spread, and the crowd outside had gotten quite thick. As she filled another bag, she thought about their 3 years together and how she had loved him beyond reason, and now she knew for certain this other bitch was pregnant by him! She wanted to cut him and kill her! She was so hurt and angry she could hardly breathe. She sank down into the thick pile carpeting, starring at herself in the mirrored closet door. Her usually beautiful, dark face looked like hell right about now. She was unkempt, her hair was long and wild, and her sweaty red dress clung to her curves for dear life. She had to have a shower. She couldn't leave like this, there were too many people outside. She would take a fast shower, then she would get the hell out of here. Pulling herself unsteadily to her feet, she stepped into the luxury bath and took a fast, steaming hot shower. Then yanking open the walk in closet door, she grabbed the first thing of hers she saw, a clean white tee and pair of gray jogging pants. This large, luxury 6 br house belonged to Antonio, yet plenty of her stuff was here, the result of their 3 year long relationship. She raked a brush through her long, thick hair and grabbed her purse. " I'll just leave town" she resolved. " I am so f*cking done with him! I'm going to leave this bastard forever" She turned toward the door, but not fast enough... A moment later, The people outside heard the distinct sound of a customized BMW and knew Antonio was back. People grabbed stuff from the bag desperately and ran, Nobody wanted to feel his wrath. A moment later, Antonio's large 6.4 bulky frame emerged from the car. His blue eyes looked like dark ice in his chiseled face, his black hair glistened from the fast shower he had taken at the gym, and his body was toned and taut. The women caught their breath as he reached back to grab his gym bag. His muscles straining against the expensive material of his shirt. He looked like the hero in a Harlequin romance, even in his enraged state. His best friend had informed him that Alisha knew about Kim, and rumor was, that she was leaving him. His handsome face was set in an anchor of stone. His presence as intimidating as a thunderstorm, people backed away as he passed by. Moving as if he were the head lion returning to his pride, he bounded up his walk way. 'This bitch thinks she's leaving me! she got another thing coming' He thought angrily. He made the money, she didn't, she had nothing! 'her little black ass would still be in the hood scrounging for something to eat if it hadn't been for me!' he thought angrily. I gave her a better life, took her places she would have never seen, bought her things people from the hood don't bother dreaming about, cause they know it'll never happen, and she thinks she's leavin' me? His anger increased, and matched his strides. Moving into the house, he took the stairs 2 at a time. A moment later he caught sight of Alisha's beautiful, frightened face trying to run down the back spiral staircase that led from the kitchen. In one felt swoop he jumped the railing, threw his gym bag aside, and grabbed her arm. She turned, tears streaking from her chestnut colored eyes. "leave me alone Tony!" she shrieked, trying to pull away from his vice-like grip. " I hate you- and I'm leaving you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it! " "You sure baby" he hissed in her ear, "you sure about that?" In an instant he had grabbed her around her small waist, and easily lifted her up, carrying her effortlessly back up the stairs. " Stop! No please! Tony, put me down! " Alisha forgot she was angry, now she was scared, Antonio had a fierce temper and she had seen him reduce grown men to simpering masses on more than one occasion. He carried Alisha back into his bedroom and threw her roughly on the bear skin comforter. His face was unreadable, but she knew exactly what he had in mind when he unbuckled his belt. Alisha turned to run. With lightning speed he was across the room. He grasped the top edge of Alisha's white tee, and ripped it from her shaking body before she had time to think. "So you leavin me huh baby" His tone was cold, and low. Alisha felt rising panic. Fighting back, she raked her nails over his handsome face. She was ill prepared when he drew back his hand and slapped her with such strength, her jaw felt dislocated. She fell back on the bed disoriented, and sobbing. Antonio watched her as he took his time removing his clothes. She obviously needed a reminder that she belonged to him! Alisha starred up at him trembling. Her mind was screaming run, but she felt paralyzed in fear by his cold callus stare. When he closed in on her, she tried to resist, but to no avail, He was far, far too strong. Easily he flung her back to the bed as she tried to escape, with such force, the wind was knocked from her. Grasping her bra, he gave it a hard tug, and it was ripped from her body. Her large breasts bounded free. Lowering his head, he sucked them hungrily. Then, moving to the edge of the bed, he pulled her struggling body to him and and snatched off her jogging pants. She was naked except for her bikini panties. Her breath coming out in short, fear-filled pants as she tried to escape across the bed away from his searching hands. It was no use, pushing her body into the soft mattress, his mouth came down once again on her breasts, rough and demanding. exploring her with his tongue like a man who knew exactly what he was doing. His hands, hard and unsympathetic, pulled her trembling thighs apart, He drank in the sight of her shaking in fear, enjoying her terror. Her cries for help went unanswered as he ripped the panties away with one hand, holding her down with the other, his fingers playing in the dark curls between her thighs "so your black ass thought you were goin' somewhere huh' lisha?" He mocked, his cold blue eyes raked over her. "Just thought I'd give you a goin' away gift." Alisha was crying hysterically as he moved away and yanked her, once again to the edge of the bed. His hands, over her flesh were rough and frightening. "please, Antonio-" she begged, Trying to push his large determined body away from hers. Like a fox he watched and waited until she tried to lift herself from the bed. As soon as she did, he grabbed both legs, pulled them up and apart, and pushed himself roughly inside of her. She screamed helplessly as he took her in long, deep, powerful strokes. Her cries for help, and shrieks of pain only served to make him more excited. Alisha's hands flailed wildly but she couldn't get away from the blinding pain no matter how she tried. Antonio, his eyes glazed over in ecstasy, seemed not to hear her. She sobbed with pain, and when he bent to kiss her, she hog spit in his face. He calmly wiped his face and then turning back, he slapped Alisha so hard her lip started to bleed. "Want me t'show you how rough this shit can get baby?" He hissed in her ear, his voice was menacing, and without compassion. "you know I love it rough -so let me know if that's how you want it!" Alisha shook her head no, crying to hard to answer. He took a tissue from the box and gently wiped the blood and tears from her sad face. Then winding his hand in her long dark hair, he pulled her head back and kissed her over her face, her throat, her lips, then finally back to her throat. He knew exactly how to turn her body against her. forcefully, he took her to his heart's content, moving in and out of her body like he owned her. After all he did, she belonged to him and he was never going to let her go. Her screams gave way to quiet sobs, as he held her body 'open' to receive him. He rode her until her body yielded, and just as he knew it would, began to betray her. He could feel the difference as her arousal deepened against her will. The pain giving way to something different... something slow and indescribably sweet... The heat starting in the center of her body moved outward until it threatened to consume her. Antonio's movements increased in tempo, he was reaching his peak as well. Alisha clawed the sheets as he took her to new heights, then everything was exploding. She found herself shaking, screaming and drifting back to earth, her body wracked by tremors of pleasure she could not control. When he finally moved off of her, Alisha was cried out, spent, and whimpering softly into the pillow. She felt so much pleasure and pain, she could hardly move. Antonio watched her like a tiger watching it's prey. A coy smile tugged at the corner of his sensuous mouth. Expertly, he feigned remorse, pulling his girlfriend gently toward him, he buried his face in her sweet smelling hair. Finally giving her the gentle tenderness he knew she was desperate for. He was an expert on women, and knew exactly what to do, when to do it and which technique to use. He even knew that although he had just beaten, and raped her, her attraction for him had just gone through the roof and there was not a snow ball's chance in hell of her leaving him. He was a true bastard. And a true bastard always knows exactly how to make a woman putty in his hands. Alisha was no exception. A second later, as he knew she would, she laid her head onto his bulky shoulder and began to cry. Antonio played his role to the hilt. Murmuring endearments to her as she cried, and kissing her gently. He 'knew ' instinctively that now was the time to give her love and affection. He could almost feel her fighting with herself trying not to forgive him, trying to fight the love and attraction tearing at her soul, he also knew she would lose that fight. He spread his muscled arms wide, and smiled with satisfaction as she slowly moved into them. His blue eyes were mysterious, and calculating. He knew she wasn't going anywhere, the look in her eyes told him everything she would not say. His smile was self-assured, and cunning, but Alisha couldn't see it. She was too busy wrapping herself in his arms, and holding on for dear life. His lips gently brushed her soft brown cheeks. Expertly Antonio feigned repentance. " Baby don't leave me!" he whispered cunningly. "I love you, I just can't lose you-I.... I don't know what I would do if I lost you." He let his voice trail off sadly. Alisha fell for it. Pulling him close, she wrapped her arms around his wide shoulders and accepted his kisses. Her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, but also with trepidation as she gazed at him. How could she forgive him after what he just did? Yet, how could she let him go? Her attraction for him was so strong, it felt like a living thing. More alive than the orgasm she was still shaking from! Even as a part of her hated him right now, a stronger part of her was hopelessly in love and attracted in a way she had never experienced before. ' I swear that kid ain't mine baby," Tony lied easily. He was not about to let a little thing like honesty cause him to lose her. "That little trick has been on my d*ck since day one-but you know you're the only one for me!" He scrutinized her face so he would know how to adjust the story. "Baby, you're my everything, I love you so much, I can't even describe it! The thought of losing you just made me crazy!. " He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, gently kneading her breast until she gasped. Suddenly the thought of losing Antonio was just too much for Alisha to bear. Her resolve to leave, sliding away like her tears, into her pillow. "It's not even his!" ' she told herself, as Antonio's hands ran gently over her body. " My baby would never do that! She decided. She forgot about the fact that' her baby' had just beaten and raped her. She forgot that he has seemed to enjoy the sound of her screams. And she forgot that she could almost read the lies written on his handsome face. All she remembered was how sweet and loving, and contrite he was right now..... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PS. If you are sweating or breathing hard right now, you may have a BA (bastard alert) If you know you were attracted to Antonio, then yes, (don't bother denying it) you probably Do have a bastard alert. But if you are lighting up a cigarette right now and asking yourself "Dayuuummm, why that dumb bitch wanna leave him!" Child, check yourself into rehab right away -cause you definitely have a BASTARD MEGA-ALERT!!! Bastard-deprogramming, is here to help you (please call 1800-Bastard) -All major insurance accepted. PSS. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE YOUR BASTARD THE ADDRESS OF OUR FACILITY! ____________________________________________________________ QUALITIES *MANY BASTARDS HAVE* THAT ATTRACT WOMEN I wanted to inject some levity into this post not because I believe in making fun of rape, but because I wanted to make the situation more palatable, and easier to talk about. The truth is that many women are attracted to bastards. Lets face it, many of them are sexy (like the one above) but that does not negate the fact that he is an a**hole who beat and his raped his girl after she found out that he cheated on her! The truth is that in order to have healthy relationships, you ladies will have to deprogram yourselves from bastards. Most women who don't have a good man usually don't have them because they are attracted to bastards, and cannot bring themselves to let a 'nice' guy into their space. Many women of all races are attracted to a strong/commanding /confident, and even slightly arrogant man. Many women cannot bring themselves to admit this, but it seems to be a common female trait. I will give you another example: ____________________________________________________ There was a guy named Donald who liked a friend of mine. (We'll call her Lara) He talked about her all the time and seemed to melt whenever she walked into the room. Well, she was totally uninterested, and made it clear she could not stand him. She often complained that she did not want him following her around. The more everyone told her what a nice guy he was the more turned off she seemed to become. One day he begged me to get her come to a wedding. His aunt was getting married, and he thought it would be perfect if she was there. I was already going, as I knew his aunt, so I asked Lara to come with my family. I knew better than to tell her he asked me to get her to come. She accepted the invite on the grounds that if he was there, I would not let him 'stalk her' as she put it. At the wedding she came in looking lovely like she always did. He could not seem to take his eyes off of her. I could feel her squirming under his gaze. I pulled him aside and secretly told him to play it cool and not to act like a fawning school boy. I told him to mingle with other people and not come off as a drooling puppy. Well, he got the hint, and did just that. He was doing fine, and she was looking perplexed, wondering why he 'ignoring her'. But a very weird thing happened later in the evening, that even I, could not have predicted. The DJ refused to play the music he (Donald ) wanted. (He had paid for the DJ) He, at first tried to talk sensibly to the DJ, but when that failed to yeild results, He went off and told the DJ off about the music. The DJ backed down and hurriedly put on what he wanted. That's when the odd thing occurred. I turned to find Lara looking at him with nothing but PURE ATTRACTION ON HER FACE!! She was flushed, and breathing deeply with hooded eyes. Her lips were half smiling and she was starring at Donald like she had never seen him before! He turned, saw the look on her face and without any coaxing from me, ( the boy learned fast) he beckoned her with a finger. She practically ran to him! He leaned down and said to her in a low voice, "I don't want anymore problems with you, you hear me? -either you wanna be my woman or you don't" She nodded eagerly, and threw her arms around his neck. Even he was shocked at the change, but I think it's obvious that when she saw him as simply 'nice", she equated it with boring, and lacking confidence. Because of this, she could not have been less interested. But when she saw the aggressive, commanding side of him, she couldn't get enough. They are still together by the way, and quite happy. The point is, this is why many women are attracted to bastards. They are commanding, confident, and generally charming. The problem is with bastards is, the host of negative characteristics usually far outweigh the positive. If you want a healthy long lasting love, you must deprogram yourself from the bastards.....

This week's Tips to meet him-and snag him.....

Welcome Ladies, Every week we'll feature 5 places to meet a great (White) Mr Right. + lessons, secrets, and tips...

So lets get started, shall we.... Places to meet single men (this week)

1. A friend's party. If you're looking for that special someone, try to make the social circles. It's so important to get out there and look for him. Then of course be sure to let him 'find' you. Try to have a little alone time because many men are reluctant to approach women who have an entourage around them.
2. Home shows: A lot of men who are single will go to home shows to browse and buy home items. A big give away that he is single is if he in NOT consulting anyone by sight or phone.
3. If you are a nurse or in the nursing profession, honey grab yourself a doctor! Many women have been known to go to medical school JUST to seize a good doctor. You will already have something in common (the hospital) and this should make small talk much easier....
4. Real Estate Open House: You can find many professional men at Real Estate open houses. They are there to purchase houses, or meet RE professionals, and they make excellent prospects. Also, you may meet contractors, agents, or other R.E. professionals...
5. Singing group: If you can sing, and you love it. Why not join a community choir or chorus and make some melody with a sexy single man! A singing group is a great place to meet someone who shares your passion. And as a bonus, music is also a great bonder between people. Some of the most famous couples in the world came together through music.....

Getting the man you want!!!

Lets start with a short basic lesson. It's very important to set yourself apart form other people when you are trying to get that certain someone to notice you. This is not hard, so don't despair.

1. Have a good attitude. One of the most important things a woman can do is have a good attitude. Lets face it. Sometimes life can be hard, but if you allow the things that can go wrong in life to keep you wallowing in misery... well most likely you'll be wallowing alone. Remain optimistic and focus on the good things in your life....
2. Deal from the strong points. This means go after people who are like you!!! If you are Halle, you can get a handsome super hot white model easily. But if you look like Whoopi, chances are that won't happen. If you have a great body and you are in shape, go after men who are likewise. Chances are you two will have something in common. (Exercise, and nutrition). If you are really smart, go after really smart men. You two can challenge each other's brains and really have a blast. The point is to deal from strength.....
3. Look for similar VALUES!!! It's perfectly ok for two people to be different colors, but different religions or different values often cause long term and painful feuds. No matter what, people should have similar values. They don't have to be exact, but they should be very similar. Imagine you believe in fidelity and he believes in open marriages! Can you imagine the turmoil? Imagine you believe that abortion is ok, and he thinks it's murder, and people should be jailed for it!!! You can almost envision that marriage as that hell on earth it's destined to become. Learn his values. Values are very important. What is really special to him? What would he never do, and what is no big deal? Really get into these types of discussions that allow you to view your mate's soul, You need someone you can share common values with, You need a substance that will bond you two together long after your looks and great bodies are gone...

If you ladies were paying attention to the clues in this lesson, you would have noticed how many times I used words like: imagine and view, envision, and look, and you would know from prior lessons, that I am a visual! Always pay attention to clues people give off....

Thank you all for tuning in: Hearing Man lesson in a few days......

How to reel him in....(part 1)

Lets talk about men....

I'm sure you have all noticed that there are some women, who men will do anything for. You know the kind, men will laugh at their dumb jokes, follow them like puppies, spend obscene amounts of money to impress them or even leave wives and children for them. I will give you 2 salient examples:



Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe. These women knew exactly how to wrap men around their little fingers. Until he died Joe DiMaggio would not speak Marilyn's name because he loved her so much, that even her name was reverent to him. Author Miller (the writer) also fell so head over heels for her that he was unable to write a word for many, many years after her death- so bereaved was he! Cleopatra had herself snuggled in and delivered in a wrapped rug to Cesar and his court. She was an exiled queen, and had she been discovered by his guards, she would most certainly have faced death. Instead, when she rose from the covering and gave him her most coquettish smile, he was smitten and mesmerized, as was his court. Julius Cesar was a man who lived for warfare. He was so driven by the conquest of it, that nothing seemed able to keep him from war, which seemed to be his reason for being. Many, many women had tried to capture this great warrior. Women far more beautiful than Cleopatra, yet he had always grown tired of them, and returned to his first love, warfare. When Cleopatra came on the scene, He was so intrigued and hypnotised by her, that for the first time he allowed Rome to fall to ruins in his monstrous efforts to be with Cleopatra. So mesmerized was he, that he barely noticed his kingdom deteriorating before his eyes! After Cesar was murdered, Cleopatra did the same thing to Mark Anthony. He in fact left his brand new wife for her and completely forgot about his kingdom, and all spectre of his former life. Cleopatra had become his whole life....


People often think these women intrigued these men because they were beautiful, that could not be further from the truth. Cleopatra was purported to be quite plain in fact. Only men in love with her found her to be beautiful. Her real power lay in the fact that she knew how to seduce men into love with her. She was very much hated in Rome as she was a black Egyptian who easily seduced and captivated powerful white rulers. (which is why they hide her race on tv) These women had undeniable powers of attraction, there is no doubt about that. But what did they have that could turn men to mush and make them leave families and friends and even their most sacred obsessions? Well there are many things these women were doing but for comprehension sake, lets start with just one. I think we have all figured out by now that men are complicated creatures. For some strange reason, they never seem to want ANYTHING easy in their lives yet they seem more than willing to take the "easy" only to discard it later. They are truly a study of contradictions. They go to wars, and join police forces, climb mountains and put themselves in harms way in a thousand ways for the "thrill" or the complexity of the maneuver. Men love the complex. They quickly lose interest in the "easy" Neither Marilyn nor Cleopatra had "easy" ways about them they both had very complex personalities. Marilyn had the "little girl, seductress thing going on, and Cleopatra had a flip personality which was coquettish one moment and sullen, distant the next. Both played "roles" and both loved keep a man off balance. That being the key. We are not advocating for you to act like a nut or a fool. But you must change it up a little. never let him become complacent or bored. Let the different sides of you come out. Remain a challenge. Men are challenge seekers. There is a whole lot more to all of this but lets keep it simple and start with something quite basic.



Read the following story and see if you can tell what the "problem" is. -answer coming soon.


The night was dark and mysterious. Cynthia relaxed against the dark leather of the car seat and tried to get to know her blind date. He had just pulled away from a mountain bluff and a sunset he had just had to see. He had stared at it as if mesmerized. Cynthia found herself equally mesmerized by him. He was a fine man! Dark hair sparkling gray eyes rugged features. " I could fall for you, so easily" she thought to herself. Paul turned to her. Every dark hair in place, clean cut, impeccable, his hand-made suit cut perfectly for his large body, he seemed almost too perfect, physically anyway. "you like the sunset?" he asked, suddenly. "oh, uh... sure-it's ok" Cynthia thought that was an odd question. " So what do you like about being a florist" he asked casually. " oh well, I love how it makes people feel, you know they get so happy when they get flowers and-" He was looking at her like she had lost it. " interesting" was all he said. Cynthia felt like hitting him in the head. Why was it so hard to talk to him? As they pulled up into the restaurant she tried to connect again. "Why did you choose this restaurant? she asked, trying to lighten the tension between them. " He glanced down at her "look at it " he gestured at the beautiful French restaurant set atop a very expensive building and looking out on the water." a picture says a thousand words" As they entered, Cynthia noticed that everyone seemed to be catering to Paul. the maitre D almost knocked someone over to greet him and the wait staff and management alike seemed to act like fawning sycophants. she wondered what it must be like to live in that world where you had a lot of money and everyone was so smiling and fake. As they were seated she decided once again to try to engage him in conversation. She gestured to her new dress. "do you like it? it cost me a small fortune" she laughed. Paul glanced at her dress. it was a simple gray chiffon with the bodice cut lengthwise emphasizing her full bust and small waist, yet the color was a tad light for her skin tone. " the cut is very nice," he answered honestly "but the color is 2 shades too light, you're a winter and that was made for an autumn" Cynthia could feel her blood starting to boil! He was such a jerk! no wonder he was single -and she didn't care how fine or rich he was! Everything was going from bad to worse. She so regretted taking this blind date! " you just don't mind being an asshole do you?" she finally snapped. He actually looked amused " was I an asshole-because I told you the truth!, tell me what else can't I be honest about" Cynthia exhaled hard. The waitress set the food down and backed away, even she could feel the tension. A moment later he gestured the girl back, " that looks way too red, I'm not a caveman" he snapped at her. But his eyes were locked on Cynthia's for the first time all night. "what's the problem here? " he finally asked, quietly. " Cynthia shook her head and shrugged helplessly. She felt like crying but she didn't know why. Plus, she was not about give this jerk the satisfaction of seeing it. His dark gray eyes seemed to study her for a moment, roaming over her dark skin, full lips and thick black hair. She could tell he found her attractive, she had no idea why they were not connecting. It was the waitress who solved the mystery. Upon her return, she placed Paul's plate in front of him smiling, and trying to earn a better tip. He barely noticed her but when he saw her bloody thumbprint in his plate, he erupted. "What the hell! do you think I can eat this damn food with your bloody thumbprint in my plate? " Now all I'm going to see is that nasty thumbprint-I don't think I can eat a damn thing!" The girl was all apologies, and on the brink of tears. She hurriedly took the plate away. Cynthia was starring at him, amazed, yet amused for the first time. She thought she had an inkling as to the problem. " what the hell are you laughing at? he raged, His voice began to rise "you think it's funny! She brings me a plate with a nasty ass thumbprint in it and you think-" Cynthia held up her hand, cutting him off. "I know, I know, the nasty ass thumbprint
in your damn plate" Paul's face looked slightly red "no, you don't see where I'm coming from because it wasn't your plate!" That image almost made me sick..." His voice was rising once again. Everyone was starting to look their way. Cynthia knew she had to calm him down and fast. She rose half way up and pounded the table with her small fist. "you're right Paul," she said letting her voice grow louder by the second "it was gross and disgusting! My God a bloody thumbprint next to your food!" Now everyone was really turning their way. Paul stood and grabbed her arms pulling her back down "hey, hey, it's not that bad " he soothed. "it was an accident, that's all" his voice was back to normal and Cynthia let her voice come back down too. "Well just seeing it in that plate!" she said. "I mean looking at it-all bloody and-" Paul threw back his head and started to laugh. Cynthia stared at him a moment and then joined in. " you don't mind acting like a fool, do you " he asked. "no, I guess not, no more than you " she countered. He was quiet for a moment. "you know you really are beautiful in case I didn't tell you and you looked so sexy getting mad about my plate- that was too cute!" She smiled. A moment later a different waitress appeared with his meal and they had a great dinner. Paul was looking at her like he was seeing her for the first time. "I would love to see you again" he said quietly. I would love to see you too" Cynthia answered correctly.


Why was that the correct answer?
Why were Cynthia and Paul missing a connection at first?
Why was the conversation so strained?
Why did Cynthia start to emulate him, when he overeacted about the thumbprint?
Why did he suddenly start to see her and become attracted?

Do you know why? -find out soon.....

Ladies I have some tips for you:



Beauty tip:


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Thanks for tuning in -see you next post....