Saturday, September 13, 2008

CAN THIS BRAND NEW RELATIONSHIP BE SAVED?.... And how????

Read the following short story and see if you can figure out the problem here. Should these people try to forge a relationship? and why or why not. Is the latter part the neighbor's fault or not-answer the questions at the end.... Lisa swayed to the music as she prepared the delicious meal for her intended. She was so excited. This was their 3rd date, and the first time she had let him come to her house. Mark was so sexy! The sound of his voice always turned her on, and made her hot. She'd kept everything calm though and had not let him talk her into anything too fast, But tonight would be different. She was plannig to find out just how good he was in the sack tonight. She had not done anything too fast, just as her friends had advised. But man had it been difficult. Mark was hot! He moved like he heard music no one else could, and he always looked perfect. Never a hair out of place. Lisa, on the other hand, was a comfortable dresser and rarely dressed up like he often did. But she certainly appreciated how good he always looked, and sounded. At 8.pm on the dot, her bell rang. Lisa ran to open the door, wiping roast beef on her apron, and rushing to open the door. Mark stood there looking like he stepped from the pages of a magazine. He wore an expensive overcoat, and smelled as if he had just stepped from the shower. Lisa thought about the shower she'd had (about 6 hours ago) too late. She was covered in flour, and other cooking concoctions, but she laughed it off. "You caught me off guard." She giggled. But Mark was not laughing. "We agreed on 8.00 didn't we?" He took in her disheveled appearance and seemed disappointed. Lisa tried to give him a hug, but he stepped back. The look on his face stopped her in her tracks. "Ah, I just got this coat from the cleaners" He murmured. "Maybe you could find something clean to put on. " Lisa nodded, trying not to feel upset. She ran in the room and changed while he flipped through the channels on her tv. When she came out, she was wearing her favorite pair of jeans and a cute pink top. This time he gave her a hug but it seemed stiff and forced to her. They sat down to dinner and Lisa turned up the music, so she sing to one of her favorite songs. As soon as it was over, Mark reached over and turned the music off. Lisa felt irritation creeping over her. Where the hell did he get off turning off her music? Mark smiled at her. "I thought we could talk " He said semi-warmly. That food looks great! Lisa set the table and motioned him over. "Yeah, I hear good food is the way to a man's heart " She laughed. So tell me about your job, what do you like about it. I hear y'all make good money over there. Sounds like my kind of place. She plopped down and started to eat. Mark seemed rather uncomfortable for some reason but he sat down carefully and quietly began to eat as well. "Well, I rather enjoy it, so it's something to look forward to, that's for sure. "I'm in charge of operations, so I have to make sure by visual inspection that everything is up to par and- Just then a loud car went by playing a Janet Jackson song. Lisa began to prance in her seat, throwing her hands up, and gyrating in the chair. She completely tuned Mark and his boring job out as she seat-danced. She looked at Mark expecting him to be dancing too, but he had looked down at his plate, and pursed his lips. When the car was gone and it was quiet. Lisa looked at him closely. "What's your problem?" She asked quietly. "I heard you were a stick in the mud, but I thought it was just a rumor." Mark's head snapped up. "You're calling me a stick in the mud. That's rich! because you act like some mindless video- They were both interrupted by the sound of the door. Lisa threw a quick glare at Mark. "I'll get it, you just sit here and be too good for words!" She went to the door and flung it open, her face smoldering with unresolved anger. The new neighbor Samantha stood there holding an empty bowl. She took a step back at the look on Lisa's face. "Ah..... hi Lisa, is this a bad time-I can come back" She smoothed her hair, and half smiled. She was dressed in a brown chiffon with matching heels, and her hair and make up were both perfect. Lisa was in no mood to play good neighbor. "What do you want Sam?" She said without civility. Sam's eyes widened at her rude tone. "Ah.. n..nothing, I'll talk to you later." She seemed embarrassed and upset. She turned to go. "You must have come for something, you have a bowl in your hand." They both turned to the sound of Mark coming up to them. Sam's eyes widened at the sight of him, and her smiled came to life. "Well,.... I don't want to interrupt, but I needed some sugar. I ran out and I'm making these cookies-" She trailed off, still staring at Mark. Lisa turned to find Mark starring just as hard back at her. Her blood began to boil. She turned to Sam and glared a warning glare. "Well, we're in the middle of dinner, but I'm sure the corner store has sugar! " She answered brusquely. Both of them turned to look at her like she was crazy. "Tell you what" Mark answered, ignoring Lisa, "I was finished eating anyway He lied. Why don't I go and get you that sugar" Sam was backing away from the anger on Lisa's face. "Oh... ah.. that's ok but thank you" She turned and hurried away ignoring Mark's calls behind her. Lisa slammed the door. "So you wanna chase that little slut-go ahead! "She screamed. Mark starred at her. "Why are you calling her a slut?" He asked quietly. "You're the one who looks like a slut to me. You let me come to your house after dating for less than a month!" I know exactly what you planned to happen tonight, and so do you! " Lisa's face blanched. "That's not true!" She shrieked. "Nothing was going to happen, except dinner!" Mark was grabbing his overcoat. "Yeah right! - The first time I looked at you in that too tight outfit, I knew what you were up to, and what kind of woman you were! " He ran out the door before Lisa could throw a plate at him and ran across the lawn. Lisa watched him search around until he found Samantha talking to another neighbor. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she watched him smile at Sam in a way, he had never smiled at her. What happened she asked herself. How did that little tramp simply smile and steal my man? See if you can answer the following questions. What went wrong here? Why weren't they connecting? Why was he so uncomfortable? Why did he seem much more attracted to Sam? Should Lisa keep pursuing him or cut him loose? Answers soon......

5 comments:

Kimberli said...

What went wrong here?
They're two different people. His appearance and the way he reacted to Lisa indicates he's a neat, clean person and he looks for the same in the opposite sex. She's the opposite, sloppy and unclean. She doesn't take pride in keeping her appearance together for herself or anyone else.

Why weren't they connecting?
They're opposites; one sloppy, the other neat.

Why was he so uncomfortable?
She was unclean and dirty. He was well-dressed, clean and smelled nice. He didn't want to sully himself physically.

Why did he seem much more attracted to Sam?
She took pride in her appearance. She was clean, well-dressed, pleasant personality (she didn't yell or lose her temper with Lisa), and had on makeup, an indication she took care of herself and liked herself.

Should Lisa keep pursuing him or cut him loose?
She should cut him loose. He's not the man for her.

My question, he knew what type of person she was before the third date. Why did he even come?

Thanks, Sara.
Also, I like your Lazy Millionaires blog and I let a friend know about it. She tried to e-mail you but she said the e-mail address wasn't working.

Keep up the good work.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi, the email for all the blogs is asktaylor1991@yahoo.com. I answer all emails, so tell her to try that one, and thanks for your comments-they were great....

Anonymous said...

What went wrong here?

Why weren't they connecting?
He knew what she was up to in the first place. But what truly added to the unfortunate circumstance was that she was not ready for the date. She was not prepared and ready for him--to greet him on his level.

Why was he so uncomfortable?
He was more ready, more presentable for the date. She was more of a home body. Her attitude to her environment and responding to it, irked him. She was not attentive to him.

Why did he seem much more attracted to Sam?
She was better manners and was presentable. She displayed a kind of grace about the situation.


Should Lisa keep pursuing him or cut him loose?
I think at this point she should cut her losses. I think Sam has caught his eye.

Prosechild said...

What went wrong here?
Lisa is very auditory ("he sounded so good!", and she was always swaying to music) and Mark is visual ("I have to make sure by visual inspection that everything is up to par").

Why weren't they connecting?
She wasn't visually appealing to him, his surroundings weren't visually pleasing, and he didn't make things sound good to her on their date. In addition, he knew it was a booty call and was not emotionally invested.

Why was he so uncomfortable?
Things didn't look right to him, and Lisa asked him to talk about himself, not his strongest point as a visual person.

Why did he seem much more attracted to Sam?
She was very meticulous with her appearance and appeared calm, steady and laid back - the exact opposite of Lisa.

Should Lisa keep pursuing him or cut him loose?
If it were me I'd cut him loose - but all is not lost if she plays her cards right. She just has to pay more attention to his personality and bring those aspects of hers out that match his. She has some visual strengths b/c she remarked on how he always looked good.

Anonymous said...

She is more feelings and or auditory he is clearly visual so they are not speaking each others language.
After three dates is a bit too soon to have him over. Also her comment about money made her seem more materialistic than she may in fact have been. She is not necessarily a gold digger but that statement would put a man on guard. It's not what you say but how and when it is said.He was uncomfortable because being more feelings and or auditory her environment and look was tailored to that which was not suited to his visual sense. He felt overwhelmed by the noise, clutter and comfortable tangle and easy style. She was trying too hard to please and have him get to know her - rather than getting to know him and gradually revealing information about herself - she rushed it. It appears that on previous dates she appeared to be more visual and this new side of her was a change for him and he was not adjusting well. She also over-reacted to Sam. Her reaction response to Sam said more about her than it did Sam and it did not reflect well on her. Men pay attention to how women react and interact with others - just as women must pay attention to how men treat others. He did not know how to resolve it or connect with her so they were on the same page speaking the same language. Sam was more attractive to him because she had the visual thing going on - sleek harmonious lines, simple uncluttered look and style. If Lisa plans to pursue this she will have to cue in on his language in order to connect with him - not so much change her style or self but rephrase her approach. She would also have to train him how to speak her language so to speak. In order for any party in a relationship you have learn the other person to earn the other person i.e. pay attention to what they say and how they act and see how the react to the world - how a person responds to the world around them provides cues to how they view the world. Their actions and speech, speak volumes about them and will tell you everything you need to know about them, if you pay attention. Not sure if trying to have a personal relationship with him is worth it at this point - it depends on if they have an established context (such as working together) or if he is just someone he met and dated a few times. If there is an established context maybe but if he is just a new guy it might be best to cut her losses and take the lessons learned.


V/r

Clarice