Thursday, October 23, 2008

Starter tips for meeting Mr. Right....

Finding him.... Alot of women say they want to find someone, but do they really? Sometimes women think they want a man, but they really just want the man in their imagination and not a real, living breathing flawed human man. Ladies, just like you, he will not be perfect. He may be too short or too small in stature or too plain or too whatever. But please look around you and really see the husbands and notice not too many of them look like Brad Pitt. Most guys who are husband material will not be that fine, but then if you had a Brad Pitt, think about it. There maybe several Angelina Joli's waiting to steal him, and who can compete with her! lol. I am not saying super handsome men cannot be good, and faithful and all that. I am just saying, if you want a man, try to focus on his inner qualities instead of the external-because those are the ones that really matter. Now having said that, lets move on to attraction. You must learn to use your green light. Alot of sistas are VERY familiar with the red light when it comes to non-blk men, but almost seem to forget how to use the green light. They don't remember how to flirt in a light and carefree way or how to let a man know they are interested without sending out desperate signals and the like. The simple truth is that: Men are afraid of rejection just like you. Know that he is 3x more likely to approach a smiling plain woman then he is to approach a mean faced Beyonce. Here are some of the things you can do get his attention, in the beginning. 1 Be as attractive as you can be. Few of us can be Beyonce or Angelina, but with cleanliness, make up and in reasonable shape-most of us can easily be pretty. 2. Really look at him, like you are trying to see inside his eye. Then ever so slowly smile and look gently away. When you turn back, if he is looking or turning red-that's a definite green light for YOU! In other words, he's interested.... 3. Ask questions to get the ball rolling. Small talk is an important part of a new relationship. Ask him about himself and really want to know. 4. Laugh at his jokes. Men love to play the clown especially if they have a captive audience. If his jokes are stupid, laugh at the stupidity of them 5. Emphasize the similarities: Don't talk visual to a feelings man and vice versa. that's right I owe you guys the hearing and feeling man don't I.? Sorry, I forgot, but I will make time next week to do them both-then you'll know what I'm talking about.... 6. Be friendly, open and sweet but never desperate or sleazy. Just be your own happy self. Many men are attracted to bubbly women because they consider them exciting and warm. Many women act cool and quiet, and then wonder why men pay them no mind. Ask yourself -do you pay much attention to the quiet as mouse people? These are some starter tips to get the ball rolling. We will go into much greater detail soon, but I would like to get the hearing and feeling men out of the way so you all will know what I am talking about when I mention them. So We'll do those posts soon and get back to attraction..... Thank y'all for tuning in-See you soon....

10 comments:

Felicity said...

Nice post!

Anonymous said...

"Alot of women say they want to find someone, but do they really? Sometimes women think they want a man, but they really just want the man in their imagination and not a real, living breathing flawed human man. Ladies, just like you, he will not be perfect. He may be too short or too small in stature or too plain or too whatever. But please look around you and really see the husbands and notice not too many of them look like Brad Pitt. Most guys who are husband material will not be that fine, but then if you had a Brad Pitt, think about it. There maybe several Angelina Joli's waiting to steal him, and who can compete with her! lol. I am not saying super handsome men cannot be good, and faithful and all that. I am just saying, if you want a man, try to focus on his inner qualities instead of the external-because those are the ones that really matter."

Spot on! Excellent job keeping it real and managing expectations! Knowing what you want and having it grounded in reality are key to living authentically and well!

V/r

Clarice

Anonymous said...

thanks sara for another post. ive been doing these things except 5 & 6. there this guy who flirts w/ me and always has eye contact w/ me. his eyes are to damn beautiful.
here's my thing although he is interested how do you know if he's single/married. i do listen whenever he's talking try to find things that indicate whether he's married or not. i don't want to come out striaght and ask/appear rude/nosy.
anyway great post!

Taylor-Sara said...

Hey sky.
first off look to see if he has a wedding ring. You did not mention his race but wm are pretty good about wearing their ring. If you don't see one try to ask someone who knows him. Or you may have to come out and say something catchy like "how does your wife feel about you working all these long hours?" Will he know you are fishing? He might, but he will probably be flattered and if he lets you know he has a wife, you can always just move on. But you really need that info... Let us know how it goes...

Anonymous said...

thanks sara i was thinking about asking someone who knows someone,lol. and yes i looked for the wedding ring and saw none, and one time i stepped into his office but didn't see any pictures(like wedding pictures/girlfriend pictures) i just figured he's a guy and doesn't do that picture mess like us women do. i tried every clue so now i just need that valid info. he's italian american,im hoping to get some info tonight we'll see.

Kimberli said...

Thank you, Sara. Great information. Keep up the good work!

"No Drama Mama" said...

Sara, this is spot on. I know it's true because I used to be like this. I didn't want to put in the work it takes to find someone so my imagintaion was just fine. Plus, I was terrified of disappointment but remained frustrated and sad. Thank God I'm over it.

Great message. BTW, did I say you rock? :-)

Anonymous said...

"first off look to see if he has a wedding ring. You did not mention his race but wm are pretty good about wearing their ring. "
-------------

Sara, This is so true! That is one thing I like about WM. Men who do now wear their rings regularly are disloyal. They enjoy leaving themselves open for flirting. When a woman takes off her ring you know she is DONE!

Anonymous said...

hey sara i found out he's single from a very reliable source. so i guess i can flirt like hell now.lol.

Anonymous said...

this blog is great! I'm a white man, and for the longest time I've been attracted to black (dark skinned usually) ladies. I can't ever get one though (I live in a pretty racist area with white and black hate for each other), so I don't exclude other race ladies like white, hispanic or asian. I'm single right now, can you lovly ladies give me tips for what you like to see in men? I'm verry loyal, polite, groomed well, I'm tall, and I'm not bad looking. should I act more relaxed instead of polite? I was just brought up that way. another thing... I'm a virgin, I cannot sleep with someone before we marry, I'm a homeschool christian boy ;)... should I not bring that up until after I marry? I dont know how girls feel about that, do they like experianced men?