Should you settle?

There is ALWAYS a man out there who will love you no matter what. This bride is an example of a v-dark woman who found a good man. You are never too ANYTHING to find a good man-dont' settle!

In one word NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I know someone. She's young, very pretty very open to ppl, and very sweet. She is long on kindness but short on common sense. When I say that what I mean is that sometimes ppl are too kind for words and are likely to be taken advantage of. We'll call her Taya. A few years ago she told me that she was seeing some new guy." This brother actually has a job! " She squealed. I was morbidly unimpressed. She had, had her heart broken badly the year previous, by some loser, so I hoped she had learned her lesson. I remember asking her about him, and what she told me did not make me smile. She said that he was a few years older, and that he was a mechanic, and that he made decent money. At this point I looked at her in awe, and said "But you've got one year of law school left! What exactly do you plan to do with a mechanic? " At this point she stormed away and did not speak to me for a few days. When she did, I could tell she was waiting for an apology. But the thing is, I only apologize when I think I'm WRONG! I don't feel I was, so she was NOT going to get that apology. The conversation was strained, so I finally said. Taya, it's your life but you've told me he rarely takes you out, and even then, it's at night to far away places. You've said that he's a mechanic without any back up plan. ALL I can tell you is that men who take you to far away places usually do so because they don't want to be seen. And the reason they don't want to be seen are usually because they either have another woman/wife or they don't think you are worth showing off. And I would not give the time of day to ANY man who had someone else, or did not feel I was worth showing off!"

" But more than that," I continued. "I don't feel that a lawyer and a mechanic have much in common. They usually travel in very different circles and this man will probably end up resenting you when he realizes your income rings circles around his." Well the end result was that she became angry and we didn't speak for a while. She got pregnant with her first baby before finding out that this jerk had a wife and 3 other children. He had warrants for drunk driving, domestic abuse, and numerous other offenses. He actually expected her to stand by him, pay his Attorney fees, (criminal law is not her specialty) and take care of his other family until he got out of jail!!! Anyway, last month she came to me and apologized. She said she doesn't know what she could have been thinking. She said it was like she was brain washed, and had been programmed to give a brotha a chance no matter what. I told her that's exactly what it is. BW ARE brainwashed from the time they are born until they leave this earth the programming goes on and on cradle to grave. She broke down and cried. She said she now has a beautiful little daughter she has to raise by herself, and father is a drug pusher in and out of jail. I reminded her that unlike a lot of single mothers, she is a lawyer, and makes good money so it will not be as hard as many single mothers have it, and she will no doubt meet someone else. Although I was shocked to find out she made less than 70.000! I had always thought lawyers made at least 100.000+. But anyway the point of this is that ALL MEN SHOULD BE VETTED!! I don't care what his color is or what his name is, or what kind of family he comes from. ALL MEN SHOULD BE VETTED!! The second point is Ladies do NOT SETTLE!!

Why do bw think they are the only women who should life up men? You are not here to lift up men! You are here like every one else, to have life, and have it more abundantly. Stop thinking you need to play savior to a man! The plain truth is you should bring something to the table, and SO SHOULD HE! Believe me if you have nothing to offer, he is NOT coming your way regardless of how cute you may be. He'll be checking to see that you have whatever qualities he's interested in looks, personality, shape, money, credit, position, connections, fortune, fame etc. Whatever he is interested in, he'll be checking to see how much of those qualities/attributes you possess. In other words you will be vetted. Why in the world would you EVER allow him to pass through unvetted???

Don't' do it! Your future children are depending on you to pick out a good daddy for them. They cannot choose for themselves. Whatever man you choose to have them by, is the man who will be in their lives forever, so choose carefully. When it comes to IR dating I absolutely DO think you can much more easily find a good non-bm than a good bm. I won't lie about that. BUT, I also feel that just because he's non-blk is no indicator of his worth as a man or mate. What I mean is that although it's easier to find a good non-bm, that does not mean any old non-bm will be a good man. ALL MEN MUST BE VETTED!! And if you are aspiring high, look for a mate who is aspiring high. NEVER DATE OR MARRY LOWER! You have children to think of, it is NOT wrong for a woman to marry up. It's only wrong (and stupid) for her to marry down! I know I'll catch flack, and be called a gold digger but notice how ww seem to know and practice this inherently and also notice, how NO ONE calls them gold diggers. Why do bw always feel the need to settle? You are just as good as any other woman and you deserve the best too. The best men the best schools for your children, the best restaurants, the best clubs and houses. THE BEST OF WHATEVER YOU WANT! Stop feeling the need to settle for men who have little to offer. I am not saying he should be a millionaire. What I am saying is that whatever he does, he should be striving to be the best at it, and GROW. IOWs suppose he is a mechanic, but he's trying to buy his own shop, and is saving and working hard to make that happen. To me that's ambition. And I really like a man with ambition. If I were single, I would never give the time of day to a man who did not have ambition. That should be in the top 10 list because it means he's competitive. A man should be competitive. There are too many competitions in life for him not to be. Black women realize that you will never get that which you do not AIM for. Funny so many women get this when it comes to their career, but not when it comes to men. Stop settling for men who are NOT competitive. There are too many competitive men in this world for that. Have you ever noticed how many bm will get money and suddenly go after ww? I will tell you the stinging truth to why they do that. That's because he sees her as better! In his slave-damaged mind, her whiteness makes her inherently more valuable than you, and he will fight for her, and do all manner of things he would not do for you! Before, he knew he had nothing to offer her, (or bring to the table) . But now with his new found wealth, he knows he has something, and can now compete with other men. This is why Young berg sexed numerous bw of all shades and esp. dark before he became semi famous, and then had the nerve to say he did not do dark butts! after his short lived fame. Most men know he must bring something to the table, it's so odd to me that BM will come will absolutely nothing and still feel like bw should fall all over them. I feel like if he is NOT bringing anything to a woman's table, then why the hell is he there? But too many of you will settle for a man with absolutely nothing to offer (because he's a so-called brother), and deeply regret it, and pay for it for years and years. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in the BC. Where bw will date, sex, marry bm who are druggies, convicts, pedophiles, or just plain unambitious losers who are going nowhere. Ladies, forget about trying to save the po wittle black man and let him save himself. Real men NEVER depend on women to save them. Give them a wide girth, and get yourself together with all the schooling and skills you need to get out of the hood and get a REAL man. Some of yall will hate me for saying this, but there are few real men in the hood. What you have instead are many sorry little pieces of men looking for a woman to take care of them so they can do their damage freely against the women and children of the neighborhood. If you stay in one of these hell holes. Get out as soon as you possibly can! They are dream killers. These places teach women to settle for the bottom of the barrel crusty pieces of humanity, and call them men. Don't settle- you don't need to. You deserve a good ambitious loving husband just like every other woman. But you will never see all the beautiful hunks of delicious husband material around you unless you pull your head out of that garbage can, and look up......