Part 2- Can this relationshop be saved....

You guys did so well, you don't even need me anymore! That was really good. Our lady was definitely a casual auditory and he was a virulent visual. They did not mesh because she was far to casual , and unkempt for him. Visuals are often viewed as being stuck up because they seem so supercilious. The truth is that they simply have a picture in their mind, and they feel almost compelled to conform to it. What makes it hard for them to get along with audios long term, is that auditory people seem to be very laid back and go with the flow type people. And although visuals (like me) may wish all day we could be that way, and sometimes feel upset with ourselves that we are not. The truth is we are not! I learned a long time ago. You cannot change the basic tenets of your personality, so your best bet is to work with it. Things would have very little chance of working with this couple because they were just too different. (esp. if neither one is interested in massively changing) Their best bet would be to find people more like themselves. The saying that opposites attract is misleading. Yes, opposites do attract initially, then they start to repel. People who see the world completely differently either need to be able to see through the other's eyes as well as their own, or they will most likely not last. I will give one more example. My very young daughter is a very casual auditory. she even listens to music while doing her homework! She is a great dancer, on the drill team and loves to talk for hours (whether we want to hear it or not) I on the other hand am an uptight visual. I like a clean house, cannot relax in a dirty one. Love lots of peace and quiet, movies, and reading. It drives her crazy that I'm extremely organized, and overyly rigid. As well as the fact that I am constantly 'on' her about her room'. It drives me crazy that she loves to talk for hours (either on the phone or in person) and I want peace and quiet. After years of dissension about it, she finally learned to talk to me in a pithy manner, ie, coming to the point and making it short. We've learned to close her room door so everyone does not have to see it. I still demand she clean it every week. But in between I know it' s going to be a mess, so I don't go looking through it, and getting upset. When she wants something, now she will talk about how her job is done, or her room is clean, or show us some good grades. See she has learned to think outside of her own spectrum, in order to get what she wants in life! And ladies you must learn to do the same! If your man is auditory by all means do auditory things (sing, dance, talk, listen etc. Tell him how much you love his voice, speak in the same slow melodic voice he uses. Play up the similarities between you. But if he's visual-never be lax about your appearance or how the house looks. And NEVER EVER drown him in feelings! Visuals hate to be drowned in feelings (esp. by ppl they don't know well). If he's a kinestetic -touch him! Tell him how much he means to you and how glad you are that he's there. Tell him something about this relationship feels totally right. Learn to wrap your man around your finger just like babies do. They instinctively know how to get you to think they are the most precious adorable creatures God ever created..... Just keep in mind that you want to play up how much you two are alike! -and make him feel like you are the only one who understands him! If he is visual, you should have him thinking to himself: "I can SEE myself making her my wife! Or if he's auditory he should be thinking: " Something TELLS me she's the one!" Or if he's kinestetic he should be thinking: " I've never FELT this way about a woman before!"

CAN THIS BRAND NEW RELATIONSHIP BE SAVED?.... And how????

Read the following short story and see if you can figure out the problem here. Should these people try to forge a relationship? and why or why not. Is the latter part the neighbor's fault or not-answer the questions at the end.... Lisa swayed to the music as she prepared the delicious meal for her intended. She was so excited. This was their 3rd date, and the first time she had let him come to her house. Mark was so sexy! The sound of his voice always turned her on, and made her hot. She'd kept everything calm though and had not let him talk her into anything too fast, But tonight would be different. She was plannig to find out just how good he was in the sack tonight. She had not done anything too fast, just as her friends had advised. But man had it been difficult. Mark was hot! He moved like he heard music no one else could, and he always looked perfect. Never a hair out of place. Lisa, on the other hand, was a comfortable dresser and rarely dressed up like he often did. But she certainly appreciated how good he always looked, and sounded. At 8.pm on the dot, her bell rang. Lisa ran to open the door, wiping roast beef on her apron, and rushing to open the door. Mark stood there looking like he stepped from the pages of a magazine. He wore an expensive overcoat, and smelled as if he had just stepped from the shower. Lisa thought about the shower she'd had (about 6 hours ago) too late. She was covered in flour, and other cooking concoctions, but she laughed it off. "You caught me off guard." She giggled. But Mark was not laughing. "We agreed on 8.00 didn't we?" He took in her disheveled appearance and seemed disappointed. Lisa tried to give him a hug, but he stepped back. The look on his face stopped her in her tracks. "Ah, I just got this coat from the cleaners" He murmured. "Maybe you could find something clean to put on. " Lisa nodded, trying not to feel upset. She ran in the room and changed while he flipped through the channels on her tv. When she came out, she was wearing her favorite pair of jeans and a cute pink top. This time he gave her a hug but it seemed stiff and forced to her. They sat down to dinner and Lisa turned up the music, so she sing to one of her favorite songs. As soon as it was over, Mark reached over and turned the music off. Lisa felt irritation creeping over her. Where the hell did he get off turning off her music? Mark smiled at her. "I thought we could talk " He said semi-warmly. That food looks great! Lisa set the table and motioned him over. "Yeah, I hear good food is the way to a man's heart " She laughed. So tell me about your job, what do you like about it. I hear y'all make good money over there. Sounds like my kind of place. She plopped down and started to eat. Mark seemed rather uncomfortable for some reason but he sat down carefully and quietly began to eat as well. "Well, I rather enjoy it, so it's something to look forward to, that's for sure. "I'm in charge of operations, so I have to make sure by visual inspection that everything is up to par and- Just then a loud car went by playing a Janet Jackson song. Lisa began to prance in her seat, throwing her hands up, and gyrating in the chair. She completely tuned Mark and his boring job out as she seat-danced. She looked at Mark expecting him to be dancing too, but he had looked down at his plate, and pursed his lips. When the car was gone and it was quiet. Lisa looked at him closely. "What's your problem?" She asked quietly. "I heard you were a stick in the mud, but I thought it was just a rumor." Mark's head snapped up. "You're calling me a stick in the mud. That's rich! because you act like some mindless video- They were both interrupted by the sound of the door. Lisa threw a quick glare at Mark. "I'll get it, you just sit here and be too good for words!" She went to the door and flung it open, her face smoldering with unresolved anger. The new neighbor Samantha stood there holding an empty bowl. She took a step back at the look on Lisa's face. "Ah..... hi Lisa, is this a bad time-I can come back" She smoothed her hair, and half smiled. She was dressed in a brown chiffon with matching heels, and her hair and make up were both perfect. Lisa was in no mood to play good neighbor. "What do you want Sam?" She said without civility. Sam's eyes widened at her rude tone. "Ah.. n..nothing, I'll talk to you later." She seemed embarrassed and upset. She turned to go. "You must have come for something, you have a bowl in your hand." They both turned to the sound of Mark coming up to them. Sam's eyes widened at the sight of him, and her smiled came to life. "Well,.... I don't want to interrupt, but I needed some sugar. I ran out and I'm making these cookies-" She trailed off, still staring at Mark. Lisa turned to find Mark starring just as hard back at her. Her blood began to boil. She turned to Sam and glared a warning glare. "Well, we're in the middle of dinner, but I'm sure the corner store has sugar! " She answered brusquely. Both of them turned to look at her like she was crazy. "Tell you what" Mark answered, ignoring Lisa, "I was finished eating anyway He lied. Why don't I go and get you that sugar" Sam was backing away from the anger on Lisa's face. "Oh... ah.. that's ok but thank you" She turned and hurried away ignoring Mark's calls behind her. Lisa slammed the door. "So you wanna chase that little slut-go ahead! "She screamed. Mark starred at her. "Why are you calling her a slut?" He asked quietly. "You're the one who looks like a slut to me. You let me come to your house after dating for less than a month!" I know exactly what you planned to happen tonight, and so do you! " Lisa's face blanched. "That's not true!" She shrieked. "Nothing was going to happen, except dinner!" Mark was grabbing his overcoat. "Yeah right! - The first time I looked at you in that too tight outfit, I knew what you were up to, and what kind of woman you were! " He ran out the door before Lisa could throw a plate at him and ran across the lawn. Lisa watched him search around until he found Samantha talking to another neighbor. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she watched him smile at Sam in a way, he had never smiled at her. What happened she asked herself. How did that little tramp simply smile and steal my man? See if you can answer the following questions. What went wrong here? Why weren't they connecting? Why was he so uncomfortable? Why did he seem much more attracted to Sam? Should Lisa keep pursuing him or cut him loose? Answers soon......

How to have him eating out of your little hand........

Can you make him feel like he's this hot?????????? Why do some women have men eating out of their little hand when other women cannot seem to get close to a good man at all? There are many secrets, but we're going to explore just a few here now- more coming soon..... Lets get started, I think you all know how important it is to be in shape by now, and to be clean and to approachable, so we won't rehash that. What I want to tell you is a little secret that all women who are really successful with men know. YOU MUST LEARN TO MAKE HIM FEEL ABOUT HIMSELF-THE WAY HE LONGS TO FEEL!!! What does this mean? it means: Everybody has a real self image and a feigned one. The feigned one is the one we really want. The real one is the one we think is most accurate. This applies to all people. You may have heard someone say: He thinks he so smart! or she thinks she's so cute! The truth is what we think is projected so hard that people can literally almost read our minds!! Of course women say this (she thinks she so cute!) about females all the time, usually from anger. However, when people constantly say it, you can bet the girl really does think she's so cute! There is a saying that goes: What you are is screaming so loud, I cannot hear what you're saying! It's really true. There was a famous artist who used to sit next to strangers after studying them a few minutes, and draw exaggerated cartoons of them. (for instance, he might draw a cartoon of an overly sexual woman which conveyed deep insecurity about her sexuality) The people he drew always invariably claimed, "that's nice, but it's really not me" People with them always exclaimed "oh yes it is!" The point is we all have sides that we are trying to hide, and sides that we want to show off. One of the easiest ways to pull a man into your lair is to bring out the side of him that he desperately wants to connect to, but does not dare for fear of what the world will say. This is the main reason many overachieving, controlling males will go to a dominatrix. They want to take off the hat of having to be the perfect leader and having to make all the decisions, and worrying constantly about never being let off that pedestal. I know what you are thinking. Doesn't every man want to be on a pedestal? The truth is yes and no. Yes, he will enjoy it for a (short) time. However, nobody wants to wear the superman cape everyday! It's just to emotionally draining! Men are no different. I will tell you a little secret. Ladies if you are kowtowing and pretending your man is perfect to get him down the isle, forget it!-you will NEVER get down that isle! The truth is he cannot marry you! He knows you are holding him up as perfect-and he knows he cannot maintain the facade! He is not perfect! He is human, and he wants someone who KNOWS he's flawed and loves him anyway! Yet he also wants someone who makes him feel like he can conquer the world. (Men are conquerors, you know) He wants to fight for you, and steal you away from all the men he suspects want you. (hint: if nobody wants you, NEVER let him know that-If nobody else wants you, honey- neither does he!) Then he wants to be your hero (your flawed, but lovable hero) The truth is the women who are the most successful with men almost cast a spell on them that can last a lifetime (no, its not a real spell) But she makes him think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and not in a fake fawning way that he can see right through. For instance, my cousin's husband constantly complained that she had no time for him and always acted like he did not exist. I sat in her kitchen and watched him come home one day. He made a beeline for her to hug her. (He's a feelings man) She immediately pulled back and made a face. She gave him a peck kiss that did not connect and turned back to me. I started to try to explain to her that she had just rebuffed him and he looked upset. She blew that away and resumed talking about the show we were watching. A moment later, her 4 year old came in and said "Mommy, see my picture of the dragon I beat up! (Remember even as babies, men are conquerors!) She immediately stopped what she was doing and knelt down to his level. She looked at the picture and exclaimed about how talented he was and how proud she was of him. Then she gave him a big hug and kiss and squeezed him tight. He ran off happily to brag to his brother about how much she liked his picture. I turned to her and said "Louise, maybe you could do the same for your husband? " See, he wants to be praised for the dragons he slays too. work, bills, children, taxes etc. are just a few of the things men have to deal with everyday, (dragons ) and a little appreciation goes a long way. She treated her husband like he was not WORTH getting excited over. Yet had gone on and on over her 4 year old. Men are just big boys at heart ladies and his ego ALWAYS needs to be stroked! I did not say flattery, I said ego stroking. There is a big difference, mainly that flattery is fake. I will give y'all one more example. Suppose you have a short man in your life. He is very sensitive about his height and you know he wishes he were taller. A flattering woman might say. You look so tall and handsome! Immediately he dismisses what she says because how can he believe she finds him handsome, when she just lied about him being tall? A much smarter woman will bring up his height because she knows if she doesn't it becomes the pink elephant in the room. She might say something like this, Jay, I suppose SOME women might like a taller man, but I find this height to be perfect for me! or sexy or whatever. Now he can breath because he knows his height is not turning her off-it's actually an asset with this particular woman! Take another case; Say this man has secretly always wanted to be thought of as sexy, but he's insecure about his bald head. Say his new GF tells him "Wow, you look great bald! *runs her hands over his head* "you remind me of Michael Jordan! Now his bald head is no longer something for him to be ashamed of. Instead now he begins to feel stronger, taller, more appealing. The point is ladies, you must talk to your man (Men always reveal themselves-if you listen close) He will tell you by what he says and more important what he does not say about how he wants to feel about himself and the image he desperately wants to fulfill, When you bring out the side of him, he is longing to meet, it will be very hard for him not to fall in love.....Another LL (love lesson) coming soon-thanks for tuning in.......