Even if you're not half as beautiful as Naomi, you still have something the AVERAGE ww does not-guess what it is.....
What you have over the average White Woman.....
It's actually something that pretty glaringly obvious.
Yet so few women realize it. Especially few bw. I think we have all noticed how spoiled and self absorbed many ww are. WM seem to be figuring this out as well. Allow me to give you a couple of examples:
1. One of my favorite cousins was married to a ww. (That's all he's dated- I know, typical bm) Anyway, he had a very good job, and the marriage started off fine. Before long, she gave birth to a baby boy. Even after she recovered from the birth, she refused to do a lick of housework or to wash baby bottles. She kept throwing them away and forcing my silly cousin to buy more because she said, and I quote: "White women don't do menial labor!" Keep in mind now, that she hailed from a local trailer park. She also insisted on not working, not doing laundry, and laying around the house in her bed clothes. My cousin grew more and more frustrated, yet chose to do nothing, aside from complaining to us. She also insisted on a weekly 'paycheck' for all her services! (go figure on that) He gave it to her to keep her happy, and she spent money like it was going out of style. He was getting regular promotions, and aside from her spontaneous demands for money, they seemed fairly happy. Well then the bubble burst. The economy shifted and like many people, he found his job to be in jeopardy. He asked her to go out and work in case he should lose his job. She flatly refused. He asked her to cut back for fear that they would direly need the money she was squandering on clothes and jewelry. She refused this request as well. She went on spending like there was no tomorrow until he got his pink slip. Except for the money he had managed to hide from her, they were broke. The checking/savings had been long emptied due to her compulsive spending, and they were over leveraged in many ways. This is when she began to show her true colors. She demanded that my cousin find work that would not 'embarrass her' and that he bring in the same abundant paychecks, he had brought home before. Of course with the economy in such a down turn, he was unable to do this. He did get 2 new jobs, but even together they did not match what he had previously made (8 k per month) She was horrified that they not only lacked the pay, but also the prestige of his previous employment. She promptly packed her bags and walked out, leaving him to take care of their child alone. He actually confessed to me that it was a relief to see her go. He said all she cared about was money, and that she had been spending apr. 5k per month on absolutely nothing, while he had to pay bills with the other 3. Within three months of her leaving, his bills are paid, and he has money in the bank. She called last week and said that she had thought about it, and decided to give him another chance. He told her to 'stay gone'....
I was talking with a ww acquaintance I know, (we'll call her lisa) when she casually mentioned that she had recently divorced her husband. She was so casual about it, I looked at her in shock. She laughed at the look on my face and told me that he had found out about a tryst she'd had with a bm, and had called an attorney. She said that she therefore had been forced to divorce him first so she could sue for alimony and child support. She then went on to brag about how she'd racked him over the coals in court by crying before the judge. She giggled as she described the horrified look on his face when he was forced to pay 1800 per month in child support(2 children) and 2000 per month in spousal support. She also got to keep their 8 year old ranch house, and one of their two vehicles. He has to pay all medical/dental expenses, and even carry the house insurance! I was shocked and horrified. She laughed as she told me how her lawyer had kept the info about the bm from being brought out in court with a: 'motion to suppress' and that the judge saw only an attractive ww, and was on her side from the intro. The expenses ended costing her hubby 3/4 of his income! I didn't even know that was legal! By the time she got to this part of the story 2 other ww, and 1 black had gathered near us to listen. The other ww all nodded approvingly and laughed with her. They said that she should not have to struggle, and she did the right thing. One even asked her attorney's name, and number. The other bw there looked as appalled as me. She asked how her ex husband was supposed to live on 1/4 of his income. To which Lisa snapped, "That's not my problem now is it?"
The other ww rushed to defend her. "She just can't be expected to live on nothing -now can she?" One asked. "No." I answered quickly. "And neither can he! "
The other bw shook her head as they hurried away. "They really think they're princesses and the world is their fairy tale. ' She murmured.
What's the point? The point is these are common scenarios for ww. Many ww lack loyalty in a relationship. What right did she have to accept spousal support from a man she cheated on? Yet this is common for them to get it. Now I am not implying all ww are like this. What I am saying is that many are. They have become so spoiled they don't know how to ride out the hard times, or stand by their man when he is having problems etc. They are also the most likely of all women to go to court and 'cry' to get their way. What you have on ww is simple. Many ww think only of themselves, and are quite vain, and shallow. Many will leave a relationship at the first inkling of hard times. So in answer to the question, what do you have on ww. The answer is LOYALTY!
As bw, we are nothing if not loyal, and that character trait precedes us. The next time you are wondering what you have on ww, remember this...........
40 comments:
You're right. Black women are very loyal, sometimes we don't know when to turn it off. And the majority of us don't blink an eye when we have work and help out. Great post!
We need to stop this crap this isn't a battle between white women and black women. Before i use to support u an d Evia but now it just seems that your guys are just breeding hate between the black man and black woman and i don't like it. I love black men i love the darkness of my brother skin.
You are absolutely right Anon. This is not a battle-merely an observation. I'm simply suggesting bw play a card they are well known for. And turn something that has often been used against them into an asset. I am not trying to cause a war with anyone, but I will speak my mind regardless of who does not like it. And as far as ppl supporting me- some will, some won't so what!
Very interesing observation, Sara, but however that is why things are changing and some WW are noticing it and they are getting mad. The longest robe does have an end and they do get caught out.
@ Anon. 9:50 pm...well take yourself to your brother's skin site. Bye, Bye.
a.f.
i'm really starting to wonder if some of yall are out to get revenge on bm and ww for whatever reason...
whatever... I'm really starting to wonder why the silliest and most inane remarks ALWAYS come from ppl posting Anonymously.....
Actually I have to agree with Anon. This ridiculous post seems to point towards jealousy of Black men and White women. In many of your posts, Sara, you sing the same old song about Black men and White women together - White women are users, Black men are dogs, etc. And by the way, I AM a Black women and in full support of IR dating/marriage of ANY kind. Not just BW/WM. The hatred you spout over Black men and their spousal preferences makes you know better then your average racist. I don't care if it IS your blog and that you're allowed to post whatever you want. I'm just calling a spade a spade. I suggest you check into Bellevue. Just my two cents.
Point to a section in the post where I insinuated or stated that ww were jealous ETERNAL FOOL! I never said they were jealous of anyone! If you are having reading comprehension problems that is not my problem! What I have maintained time and again is that I have ww in my family whom I love dearly, and that black women do NOT need to be jealous of White Women! I have also said time and again not CARE about who bm pick, and to help him pack and get to the WW! And by the way:
and their spousal preferences makes you know better then your....
That's the wrong Know (no) in your post. You might consider checking into GRAMMAR SCHOOL!
I don't mind at all someone disagreeing with me, but don't get nasty with me honey, cause you'll be getting nasty with the wrong one!
Interesting post Sara - insightful observations in an effort to address the question that is often unspoken. That is what makes this blog popular - seeing which angle of this puzzle will be featured. That unspoken question which I suspect is in the minds of some as to how can BW (who are new to your and HP's blog) or who are getting bombarded with negative messages - is how do BW compete w/ WW - this nicely illustrates the contrast and highlights the often overlooked assets and positive traits BW have. Many BW have not had, do not have the benefit of having their positive traits and characteristics emphasized - acknowledged and celebrated. These positive traits may seem self evident to those who have been blessed or progressed but the reminder is nice - since haters will see hate and negativity where they want to see it. A clear illustration that people find what they seek and focus on. Lesson learned - quality women seeking positive relationships with quality men must accentuate their positive traits.
Nicely done
V/r
Clarice
What you are describing in your post is called "white priviledge." This is the assumption that a white person has the RIGHT to make a lot more money than anyone else, spend more money on bling than anyone else, and be prettier than anyone else, and more desireable than any other race. For the WW, it starts with being called a "princess" at an early age and being expected to grow up and marry a man with money who will take care of them. It's that simple.
Sara, please don't listen to those ignorant, Bm protectionist. This was a very interesting post. I do think Bw are very loyal, and like Hala jin said, “We don’t know when to turn it off” Even when most Bm make nasty comments; we make excuses for them. The (4) women who left negative comments are proof how loyal a Bw could be. Personally I look forward to reading much more.
"Before i use to support u an d Evia"
What! ONCE again, if you do not like what's being said, then nobody is keeping you here. You guys will fit in nice on Mr.LQs' blog, why don't you head there?
"I love black men i love the darkness of my brother skin."
Hmmm...Very interesting. Too bad the Bm on YouTube, television, and on Websites aimed towards degrading Bw don't feel that way about you, why don't you tell them how you feel? And go chew them out like you did Sara…I thought so, and what are you doing on an IR site?
"i'm really starting to wonder if some of yall are out to get revenge on bm and ww for whatever reason."
Listen, I could care LESS who Bm are dating/marrying/impregnating, I just don't agree what most of their relationships are based on, ex: sex, fetish, and race; Especially if his whole purpose for dating interracially has to do with disliking Bw like myself. Its fine if Bm date/marry interracially, because I do, but don't put me down, disrespect, insult or chastise me because you don‘t like Bw, and I date interracially.
@eternal
Don't you think Bm sing the same song on their post? But yet, here you are giving sara a piece of your mind.
You women on here are ridiculous. You come on here spewing the "Why do you dislike Bm?" bs, but none of you has the nerve to address
1) Mr.LQ (Who calls Bw nappy heads)
2) SrgtWilliePt
3) Chris Rock about his deplorable, inane jokes towards Bw
4) Hip hop industry about their disgraceful lyrics
5) D.L Hugley about his disrespectful rants on his show aimed at Bw.
6) Majority of the Bm on YouTube who leave nasty comments on some of my friends (who date IR) webpage.
7) Bryant Gumble, who called Serena & Venus Williams “Monkeys“.
8) Pastor Manning, who called Michelle Obama “baby king kong.”
or my favorite,
9) Some of the Basketball/Football players who host parties where Bw aren't invited.
It’s interesting how you think Sara should check into Bellevue, because she is telling Bw to stop waiting around for somebody who doesn’t want you, While Bm on countless sites are disrespecting Bw. I suggest you check in. Just my two cents. Try giving them yours.
You all are the same women who were livid when Don Imus called the basketball team "nappy headed HOs" his response was; “Black men call them this all the time.” It doesn't make sense that you all go ballistic when Imus disrespects you, but when Bm do the same you pat them on the head, and say nothing, like you are doing NOW. Even that ignoramus Imus has the sense to know most Bm disrespect Bw.
It just irks me to see Bw defending witless, and vile men, who never stand up for them, but what really irritates me the most is when those SAME women come on this site being very disrespectful to my girl Sara (who just wants Bw to be open-minded and find love) but don't have the courage to say this ish on a BMs' "I hate Bw" blogs.
All of the celebrity couples you see hear weren’t even featured in the media, I did not even know they were dating/married IR, and if it wasn’t for Sara and the others, it would still be kept in the dark.
So don’t come on here disrespecting Sara with your Bm protectionism rants.
p.s TROLL police
Thank you girl, Like someone forced their silly behinds to come here! They've got the wrong one. NOBODY censures me. and NOBODY controls me! Sara walks to the beat of her own drum-and damn whoever does not like it....
You're Welcome Sara.
Girl I couldn't let them talk to you like that. They Pissed me off, and you know they won't be the last ignorant people we here from.
Keep up the GREAT work.
I don't know how these women could live with themselves after ripping a man apart. Women everywhere are looking for good men, like her husband, But for some reason it's not enough for a WW. I'm sorry, but Bm and Ww deserve each other, they are the only people who would take pride in demeaning, and insulting their racial counterparts...shame on them.
Carib girl i think you have lost the plot you are too angry at bm you letting it cloud your vision.
'Too bad the Bm on YouTube, television, and on Websites aimed towards degrading Bw don't feel that way about you, why don't you tell them how you feel?'
Yes there are bm who date ww because they think they are better and i think that is disgusting. As i said before i used to support Evia because i thought it was positive to encourage bw to have pride in themselves and better themselves.
I like interracial relatonships but that doesn't mean i am not attracted to black men or i don't like bm. i can't pretend that I am not attracted to beauty of Taye Diggs dark skin the same way i am attracted to Brad Pitt for example.
This is not tit 4 tat if bm are getting with ww for the wrong reasons that's them it doesn't mean i have to follow suit if there are men who are rejecting bw and being hateful doen't mean i have to.
Pls spread love because this hatred is dividing our community.
We have to build our community and no else can do it for us. Our bm need to be re educated in some area some need to take their position in the home at the same time bw may have areas that they have to improve.
I just trying to be real about this thing we are not in a battle so pls don't put me into the group of 'supporting her black man whatever the cause' I like to think that i would would love the person god has called to be part of my destiny whatever the package that person comes in.
Cinn, you are right. I completely forgot to write part two. Give me a few days-it'll be up.
"i think you have lost the plot you are too angry at bm you letting it cloud your vision."
Look hear, don't put words in my mouth. I never said I was angry at Bm. I just don't date them.
First of all my COMMUNITY is the
Caribbean community, because that's where I'm from.
Secondly, I don't date black American men, they have too many issues, and we all know how they respect Bw *sarcasm*.
Personally, I've always been attracted to Hispanic, Indian, and White men, and I don't give a freak who Bm date, just don't insult me just, because you feel uncomfortable seeing me with a non-blk man.
You're the same commenter who posted, that sara is trying to breed hate between Bm and Bw. Are you blind, that has been going on for a long time now. Bm have been inciting hate for years. You can't be that obtuse. Look at TV, Look on the internet, Look around you for goodness sake. It irks me to hear Bw like you (with the Bm protectionist rant) place blame on Bw for something Bm have already started (hatred between Bm & Bw).
In a few more years it's going to be hard to distinguish a Bm from a white supremacist. Even I (from another country) can see that.
What I don't understand is, Why did you choose to come on here, and talk about not breeding hate between Bw & Bm, when you know good and well, that's what Bm are doing. For once try going on their blogs, and giving them a piece of your mind. I don't understand some of you inane American Black women (not you SARA) who don't have the guts to approach/call out Bm about what they're saying and doing is wrong, but somehow you discover the courage to tell sara off.
"Our bm need to be re educated in some area some need to take their position in the home"
They are not my men, and why don't YOU spend time re-educating them, while I live my life, because we all don't have that kind of time.
'Yet so few women realize it. Especially few bw. I think we have all noticed how spoiled and self absorbed many ww are WM seem to be figuring this out as well.'
BLACK WOMEN
THIS IS NOT A WAR
@ anon at 10:55:
I still don't understand why you are on this site telling US we're the ones who should work on putting the community back together. Why aren't you reminding the bm who constantly bash black women on their sites? They don't feel like they need to help keep the "bc" together (whatever's left of it, I mean). However, keep defending them all you want. At the end of the day this a bw blog and you can leave if you don't like what's being said here. Just don't act shocked when they don't return the favor.
Carib.Girl
SLAM DUNK...And With Authority...It's A Wrap!
And ladies...Don't heed that "Let's spread love and 'We Are The World/Kumbayai' crap"...Only roses grow buried underneath a bunch of crap...Accept nothing less than reciprocity...Again..No camaraderie without reciprocity...End of story!
Thank you ladies, I think it's clear some women want to kiss the butt of the great bm or so-called perfect ww. That's fine-but do it elsewhere. This blog is NOT for everyone, if you find it is not to your liking-simply move on. But the tone, and tenure of this blog will NOT change. I will not be censured and silenced. BW have been silenced and centured too long! When my cousin G----- used and left 3 good bw to marry a ww, all three girls cried but none of them told him about himself. (yes, he was seeing all of them at the same time because he knew he could get away with it)Or said anything to the wg who laughed in their faces. When she cheated on him and had a child for his best friend, he accepted her apology and took care of the child along with his own! When she refused to clean up, or get a job, he rushed to make sure she didn't have to. When she left him for someone else and came begging back,(after the guy hit her) he took her with open arms and even fought the guy who had hit her, do you think he would have done ANY of these things had this girl been black? She ran aroung bragging about how she could do anything to him and he would still love her because she was white! And you know the saddest part-SHE WAS RIGHT!!! My point is if some of you women want to play the fool, be my guest, but don't think I'm going to allow you to come here and pull the wool back over the eyes of women who are struggling to wake up... Go play the fool elsewhere....
Regardless of what anyone thinks of this blog, I'm just thankful for the picture on top. He's hot!!!!!
@TJ, CW, SARA
BRAVO!
"she could do anything to him and he would still love her because she was white!"
Sara, that is so sad, and so true.
"BLACK WOMEN
THIS IS NOT A WAR"
What! Did you see a tank anywhere on this blog? Then I guess there is no WAR. If you are insinuating, that we are somehow at war with Ww, then you are sadly mistaken.
Sara, CW., etc wants us to be open-minded when it comes to dating/finding love, which ever way you want to put it. This blog is for Bw in IRR and Bw looking to be more open-minded. It allows us to discuss our relationships, how we feel about IR dating, and the unjust treatment towards Bw dating IR. The only reason Sara or any of us bring up Bm or Ww is, because those to human beings are always somehow involved in the insults being slung at Bw and our interracial relationships.
Personally, I think majority of Bw have respect for Bm, who choose to date interracially, even if we don't agree with the principles they base their relationships on, but majority of the Bm don't have that same respect for us.
What I mean by that is, even though we believe it is unethical, what majority of the Bm base their IR relationships on, it doesn't mean, that we are going to call them some type of vulgar name, that they constantly call us.
So, if you Bm protectionist feel like leaving messages on here, please DON'T. This blog is actually very subtle.
While Bm are on their blogs/websites, YouTube spewing disgusting/vulgar insults at Bw, you close-minded women choose to come on here, and accuse us of being mean...Really?!
I seriously will never understand any of you. Why are you all afraid to tell Bm the same things you come on here to tell Sara? Are you afraid of them? Cowards!
p.s Anon, try posting that comment on a BMs' blog for a change.
lormarie
Yes he is. Gerard Butler is very delicious.
My great grandfather is from Scotland, like Gerard, and his wife (my great grandmother) is a Afro-Caribbean woman. My great grandfather appreciated the beauty of a Black woman. He was a very loving man.
wait...what professional athletes have parties and don't invite black women, what are you talking about???
@Anon 7:22pm
Well, I can't really remember all the details, and I don't know which athletes are doing this, but while I was surfing the web doing my research on "IR dating & BW", I came upon multiple website articles discussing/asking "Why Black athletes marry White women", keep in mind I was not looking for a Bm/Ww website, We all know when anyone types in IR dating on Google the majority of the sites displayed cater to Black men & White women IRR's.
Anyway, I was very curious about one of the articles, and I was contemplating on whether to read it. Well, I read it, and the article discussed some of the reasons why some Black athletes CHOSE to date non-blk women (same excuses). Some of the athletes mentioned, "There are just not many Bw around in their profession." And some just don't want Bw period.
The person, who posted the article said, a FEW athletes would go as far as to not inviting Bw to events or parties. Believe it or not ladies, some of them would 'for example' purposely approach non-black cheerleaders and invite them to their soiree.
Some Bm sent letters to the website owner stating, that most NBA & NFL players are married to Bw. Even if that were true, why do we always seem to see the Black athletes in interracial relationships getting all the attention?!
"...Even if that were true, why do we always seem to see the Black athletes in interracial relationships getting all the attention?"
One answer could be some people are simply trying to start MESS and what better way to do that than to have pictures of ww/bm shown all over the internet.
It may have been two years ago when I read about the "private" parties that some athletes would give and only invite non-bw or "fair" complexioned women.
I used to wonder how those ww I worked with seem to know so much about bm celebs and where they would go to meet these people?" Answer- Those private parties where bw are not invited.
This type of behavior is so shameful. What if these men's dads excluded their mothers from their dating pool?
lyn
I'm just starting to accept the fact that some bw are and will always be stuck on stupid. There is nothing you can do to get these bw to stop defending bm and ww who are not returning the favor. BTW, I completely understand where you where going with this post.:) Keep up the good work. BW like myself get what you are doing. I owe bm or ww nothing. I have stoped defending bm all together...regardless of the situation. let them defend themselves like MEN should do!
@Jess..."Black males and white females seem to have this understanding where they will not defend bw or wm from racist attacks from the opposite gender of their same race."
...it is called selfishness.
Sara,
I would not normally comment within this blog since it not about me, but being a wm, I have some insight into ww.
What troubled me about your 2 anecdotes in the post is that only a few ww that I know have this narcissistic total lack of loyalty. A few more have weak loyalty. Certainly over half are appropriately loyal though.
I can easily believe that bw are even more loyal than ww typically. My brother, in L.A., has observed this in his relationships with ww, compared with bw, and other woc. And this is an important advantage. But let's measure this with care not to overplay the card.
And yet...
I can think of three factors that might reconcile what you observe with what I observe, and so we would both be accurate observers of ww within our circles.
Factor 1: I am in the "unsophisticated" Midwest.
Fctor 2: Many ww attached to some bm would be narcissists because narcissists are attracted to other narcissists. As has been often described in your blog and others, many damaged bm are narcissistic. Not to say your cousin is one of these bm, but still this could skew your sample of ww.
Factor 3: Could be mistaken, but the princesses you are talking about seem to be from upper-class privileged backgrounds. Not my crowd, but also not typical of most ww.
Please understand that I basicly support you and your work, but I thought this needed to be looked at closer.
Respectfully Wishing You Progress,
Thank you for your comments Aa, but the princess syndrome is VERY common from my perspective, and that is what I was referring to; MY PERSPECTIVE. I have worked with ww for years and noticed this mentally, as well as an unusual boldness on their parts. I have had ww think they had the right to touch my hair, ask me personal questions, and even them trying to brag to me about whatever bm they were sleeping with! (like I could care-they can have Almost ALL bm as far as I'm concerned)Many friends of mine have complained that ww will in no ways basically tell them that they could take their husbands, and boyfriends because "bm love us white girls!" They were woefully unaware that many of my friends don't date/marry bm but the point is the nerve to imply/state this to someone, and think it is appropriate. I am not at all surprised that you have not noticed this behavior, women are usually far more privy to other women's character, and motives than men are....
But neverless, I thank you for your comments.....
Doogy you must be on crack to ever insinuate, must less state that bw cheat on their husbands more than ww. BW are the ONLY women who will marry bm with absolutely NOTHING to his name!!! They are the ONLY women I know who will work two jobs to the support the family while his sorry ass sits at home playing play station!! They are the ONLY women who will try to build him up, when he knows he's sorry and not doing anything in life! I know plenty of bw who are basically WORN OUT by an early age from overloyalty. Loyal to the church (which in my opinion is using them) Loyal to sorry ass bm (who won't even marry them!!!) Loyal to their family's (who love to run to them with every problem instead of the men in the family, because they know they wont' help!) I've seen bw go to prisons and try to love brothers back to life!! What the hell are YOU talking about!!! If anything bw are OVERLY LOYAL!!! As for your
2nd example (that they date out more than ww,) First of all what the hell does that have to do with loyalty? It's not true, God knows I wish it were, but what the heck does that have to do with loyalty? See there you go again. It's ok for you as a bm to trash bw, and still expect us to ONLY date/love/stay to be used, by you and your ilk! For you to make that statement implies you think women should only date/marry within their their respective race, if bw are stupid enough to continue to wait their lives away for you all to marry us, most of us will go to our graves still waiting for your sorry asses to step up, and do the right thing! Do you see what I'm talking about ladies, do you see how he came here to defend and protect WW? While simutaneously throwing yall under the bus? You better learn to leave these sorry brothers exactly where you find them, and let the ww have them, if you want husbands, LEGITIMATE BABIES, and happiness....
Sara,
Thank you for your responsive reply.
I just have to say that I am having trouble imagining behavior that crass and cruel from most of the women I know, white or not. I will keep my eyes open and see if I can pick up on this hidden world. Most of the men I know wouldn't behave this bad to each other either.
Perhaps it has to do with my work (outside of my web development, which is home-based) being with mostly caregiver personalities in a majority female field. My "day" job is working with mentally disabled adults.
Back to lurking...
I'll keep working on this puzzle.
Sara, please stop posting comments from bm.I know some people will not like hearing this but at this point I'm 100% disgusted by bm and anything they have to say.
Doogy go sit your butt down in a corner before I roll up my newspaper.
lyn
you'd be suprised sara why bw are always rushing out to seemingly defend others and kidding themselves that they are just being the 'bigger person' etc.
they are essentially 'suing for peace' because they feel they are in a weaker position to others and
are afraid of retaliation from 'more powerful groups', so they just have to shut up and be pacifists least they bring the wrath down on themselves.
this is the real reason why they are always looking to 'quell' the situation and moralise about 'not doing what bm are doing', even when they can see that that's not what is being said.
These women are much more afraid of others, thats why they would rather have all these loud and lengthy arguments with fellow bw all the while pretending that its out of their deep fairmindedness and moral integrity...
No.one.is.Decieved.
we know you you think other bw are where you can take out your frustration, as opposed to bm etc!
yep thats why they are having all these arguments with fellow bw yet they wouldnt even dare challenge the out and out racio-misogyny of bm.
This is the action of cowards; displacing unto those they think they can take on, all the while rationalizing it by moralizing.
Indeed for all those 'moralizing' bw, you are no Ghandi and everyone can see you are quick to want to play 'nice people' because you cannot meet fire with fire!
Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?
"White women don't do menial labor!"
What?! I would have told her to leave right then and there. I couldn't believe that situation with your cousin. Wow. Kudos to him for not falling for that "I'll give you a second chance," crap.
i was not socialized aroung black men for the most part ( raised by grandmother) so i guess i am not as attracted to them as some would say i should be, my formative experiences with black people were also, overwhelmingly negative ( that was high school) the children were bussed in and , i hate to say it, mostly ignorant. not to say that my formative experiences with white people were so grand. my eyes are wide open to the kind of "good old boy" mentality i experienced in the south, along with the " you aint black if u don't do this or that" mentality.
i find too manyblack people to be very limiting in their thought processes, they want to define your life and criticize you all along the way for your choices. NOT ALL, i mean the collectivity of the "black community". white people of course often are blind to their own racism and prejudices and obvious social privilege. My point is, peopole are flawed, black and white, i have met some @holes of both races, and i know enough to know that black men have their shortcomings and so do the white ones. and it goes even further, i have dealt with those of the indian/pakistani, arabic, hispanic community, problems are there 2. so i say, if you find someone who can accept you for who you are, respect you and at least try to see your point of view, who values you and protects you, go for it.
OH MY gawd, I am horrified on so many levels.
I am currently involved with a WM whose B ex W (who wants to be White they say) had him raked over the coals. I am saddened and livid by any one who would leave a fellow human destitute. God don't like ugly.
I am promptly going to share this with him. I've even written Dr. Phil. The man needs some help, some representation so he can live decently and take care of his daughter.
Tsk, tsk, this is so sad.
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